When Harry Potter became Harry Malfoy
by Ptijade
Summary: Harry is the son of James Potter, isn't he? Well... It's a little more complicated. WARNING: it's an A/U and SLASH story between HP abd SS; there will be bits of incest and NCS, full warning inside chapter 7
1. How it was before

Title : When Harry Potter became Harry Malfoy

Author : Ptijade

Rating : PG-13 for now but will go up to R or NC-17

Disclaimers: I don't own Harry Potter, I'm just having fun with the characters, no money is 

made with it.

Warning: It's an AU story and a SLASH story! M/M LOVE! Don't like it, don't read it!!

Feedback: Greatly appreciated!

Archives: Just tell me where you put it

AN: Severus is only 10 years older than Harry and Hogwarts is not a boarding school.

/…/: _thoughts_

"…": talking

*************

Chapter 1: How it was before

Harry was a very happy teenager.

He lived in a small house in a big town near London. He had parents who loved him and that he loved very much and lots of friends ready to follow him everywhere. He was an only child and regretted it a little, but his friends compensated his want for a brother or sister.

He lived an ordinary life, well, as far as "ordinary" could go when you are a wizard. 

Sometimes, his father had to go away for his work, but he always came back quickly saying that he missed his family too much. He was a very loving father and husband.

Harry thought he needed nothing else to make his life better, except for finding the Great Love of his life. And he had already found it even if he had not declared himself yet.

His potential soulmate?

His private teacher, Severus Snape.

The man had arrived when Harry was thirteen. 

At first, he had seen him as a big brother, even if a cold one at the beginning. He only helped Harry with his lessons and never talked about his life or anything else; but Harry was nothing if not persistent, so he continued to talk to Snape until he made him answer and then smile.

From then on, they liked to chat after his tutoring in potions and DADA. One day, as they were talking about the complexity of love, Severus saying that Harry was too young to understand fully what real love was, Harry realized that he felt something very peculiar towards his friend.

He thought about it later that night.

He knew that men could love other men; his mother had explained it to him, one day while they were shopping in town and after seeing two men kissing in the middle of the street. The wizarding world was very open to homosexuality even if there were still people who were against it. 

So, lying on his bed, he tried to analyse his feelings.

/_What do I really feel for Severus? Is it only friendship? When I see him I feel my heart make a little jump in my chest. I have the impression that the day becomes brighter. I'm really happy to see him. But maybe it's just because I consider him the big brother I never had…Aaaahh…. I don't know, I'll think about it later_/__

But one day, as he was coming back home from Hogwarts when he was 15, he spotted Severus talking with another man and they seemed… very close. In fact, the other man seemed to be…FLIRTING? With Severus?!

Harry felt his heart tighten painfully. 

/_What's wrong with me?/_ he wondered. /_To see him with this man… It hurts…Why? I don't want him to smile at other people, to be kind to others… I'm such a selfish brat! But it hurts so much… Is this love?/_

During the lesson with Severus, he remained quiet, only answering when he was asked a question. 

At the end Severus asked, "Is something wrong? You are not acting like yourself today, Harry."

Harry just gave him a little smile and said, "Don't worry, I'm fine. I've just got a bit of a headache."

"Do you want a potion?"

"No, no, I just need to lie down for a bit."

"Okay, I'll tell your mother that you're resting."

"Thanks." And with that Severus left his room.

Five minutes later, Harry heard a knocking on his door and his mother appeared.

"Are you alright my sweet?" she asked worriedly

"Yeah, mum, I'm fine, just a headache."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay then, sleep a little now, and I'll wake you up for dinner." 

She was about to exit the room when Harry abruptly asked, "What do you feel when you're in love?" and then blushed.

His mother slowly turned around. She looked at him and then smiled. "Why do you ask such a question? Is that what's giving you a 'headache'?"

"Well… yeah." Harry replied sheepishly. 

"Oh my sweetie! You are so cute!" she exclaimed. "Are you in love?"

"Well, that's what I would like to know!"

"What exactly do you feel for your 'special' person?"

"At the beginning, I thought it was just friendship, but recently I've noticed that every time I see him, my heart begins to beat a little faster and I have the impressionthat everything is all right. And today, I saw him talking with someone who was flirting and then… my heart started to ache. As if something was squeezing it."

"So, it's a 'he'? And the feelings you're describing…. My little baby is in love!"

"Really?"

"Yes my sweet, there is no mistake!! Wait 'til I tell your father about it!!"

"NO!" Harry shouted

"Why not?"

"It's- it's embarrassing!! And you know that dad will make a huge fuss about it!"

"Of course I know! That's why I want to tell him!"

"You… you evil mummy!"

"Thank you very much" she replied, laughing. "All right, if it makes you so uncomfortable, I'll wait until you tell him yourself. Now that your little problem is solved, you can help me make dinner!" With that, they both headed towards the kitchen.

Harry did not declared his love and did not tell his father. He just let his love grow deeper and deeper every day. His mother was the only one to whom he confessed his feelings.

He had not told his father because as he had pointed out to his mother, Harry knew that his father would make a fuss about it. 

In fact, not just a fuss, he would hunt down poor Severus, threatening him for hurting his dear Harry, when Harry had not declared his feelings yet!

That was because his father was very protective; very, very protective. 

Okay, he was overly protective. 

If Lily had not been there, Harry would have become a rotten spoilt brat. His father always wanted to give him everything, the newest toys, books about Quidditch or DADA (Harry was very fond of it), the newest broom, all the animals he could buy, and so on. But Lily had always been there to stop him; she knew what was essential from what was a present and what was just completely useless.

So, all in all, he lived a perfect life, until The Day. The day his mother died and he discovered that all his life had been a lie.


	2. When everything changed

" " : talking  
  
_/… / : thinking  
_  
  


Chapter 2 : When everything changed.

It had been a wonderful day. Harry, Lily and James went to a park in the Muggle world, ate a picnic there and then skated all afternoon until they could not move. It had been very funny to see his mother cheering his father and making fun of him every time he fell on his rear.

Some people would think that at the age of 15, Harry would be more likely to prefer going out with his friends. He did enjoy it but he also enjoyed spending time with his parents. They were so full of energy! And they could be very childish sometimes; so childish in fact that Harry had the impression that he was the adult.

He also enjoyed spending time with his parents because his father was often out to work and it was sometimes difficult to see him.

James worked in some kind of society related to both the wizarding and Muggle world. In fact, he owned buildings in the latter.

So you could say they were very rich, but they did not show it. Harry's mother had always preferred simplicity. 

When they had come back home, James had received a call that obliged him to go out for work again. Lily and Harry had been a little disappointed as they were supposed to have a quiet family dinner, but they resigned themselves and made James promise that he would come back as soon as possible.

After dinner, Harry and his mother decided to play chess. 

That night, the nightmare took place.   

~*~*~*~*~*~*

They had been playing chess for an hour and a half near the fireplace. They always played very slowly. They liked to chat between each move, about the weather, a movie, music or even food.

They took their time to think about their next move and the whole strategy of the other player, which was the opposite of professional players who have to be quick and efficient. That was one of the reasons why James rarely played with them. He said their slowness drove him crazy.

So, as Harry was thinking about his next move and sipping his butterbeer, his mother asked him, "Severus is your secret love, isn't he?"

Harry spat all the butterbeer in surprise on the chess board.

 "Really, Harry! That's disgusting! Where are your manners?!" his mother exclaimed as with a flick of her wand, everything went back to normal.

"What did you just say?" Harry stuttered.

"I asked you if Severus was your secret love."

"OF COURSE NOT!" he roared.

"Harry, you are so sweet. Do you really think you can hide something like that from your mother? I saw the way you look at him when he's not looking in your direction; I saw the blush that appears on your cheeks when he is physically very close to you. I'm not blind you know."

Harry sighed. "All right, yes, it's him," he answered, defeated.

"Thank you for being sooooo honest my sweetie. So, when are you going to tell him about your love?"

"I don't know, what do you think of ……NEVER?!"

"Why? He has the right to know!"

"But he'll surely laugh or what's worse, pity me, saying that it's just a crush and that I should find someone else. Besides, I saw him with another man last year."

"Really? It's not like Severus to bring his "supposed" boyfriend when he's working… Besides, it was last year! They may have broken up by now! What did the man look like?"

"From a distance, I only saw that he was almost as tall as Severus and had short slick blond hair, brushed back on his head. His clothes looked very expensive."

As Harry was describing the other man, Lily stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes were fixed on the chessboard as if she had realized something and her cup of tea was near her lips but did not touch them.

"Mum? Is there something wrong?" Harry asked.

She did not answer.

"Mum?"

"CHESS!" she suddenly exclaimed.

"What?"

"It's chess! I'm going to win!"

"Oh no! Not again!" and with that the young wizard turned all his concentration back to the chessboard, oblivious to his mother's strange reaction.

Lily was relieved to see that she had succeeded in avoiding answering her son.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fifteen minutes later, they heard some noise coming from outside. Lily suddenly tensed. 

Seeing her reaction, Harry tried to reassure her, saying that it must be one of the three cats they owned.

But then the front door crashed open, and they could see that in the doorway stood…

"SIRIUS?!" Harry shouted.

"No, Harry, it's not him! I don't recognize his magical signature," his mother whispered.

"Oh…. Very clever I see. Good evening Mrs Potter," the man looking like Sirius said in a low voice. "And it must be young Harry," he said looking at the young  man.

"Who the Hell are you?!" Lily demanded.

"My, my… aren't we a little nervous?" the man chuckled.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" she shout.

"How rude! What about the rules of hospitality?" the man continued.

"To hell with hospitality!"

"It's not something you say to a man who came with some friends whose wands are directed towards you and your lovely son," the Sirius-like man said that putting an emphasis on 'lovely', and as other masked people entered the room.

Harry shivered. He had recognized them as the dreaded Death Eaters and it looked like there 

were ten in all.

"You sick bastard! Don't you DARE touch him!" and with that, Lily quickly pointed her wand towards Harry and muttered a spell. There was a bright flash of light that faded quickly.

"Now you won't be able to harm him."

"But what about you dear Mrs Potter?" the man enquired. And then curses and hexes seemed to come from everywhere.

Lily dodged them all, creating a barrier. She responded with an attack that knocked at least six of her opponents to the ground, blasting out a part of the house. The three others kept hexing her, but to no avail.

Harry could do nothing but watch. He was paralysed, he could not help his mother as his wand was in Hogwarts (the teachers only gave them written assignments and not practical ones).

He could not abandon his mother alone either, even though she kept shouting at him to do so. Every time he refused she shout, "STUPID GRYFFINDOR!" 

He was trying to understand. Why was this happening to them? His family wasn't a danger to the man!!

Harry was also amazed by his mother's magical power. How could he have never noticed it before? Her magical was so strong! And it seemed endless. 

Meanwhile, the leader of the attackers just stood there and watched too. Little by little, the image of Sirius faded and the appearance of a man in his forties replaced it. He had brown hair and red eyes.

"Tom Riddle!" Lily shouted.

Harry, too, recognized the man who was also called Voldemort, the infamous Dark Wizard.

Riddle turned slowly towards Harry, his wand at the ready. 

Despite the flood of curses she was blocking, Lily saw it and in a desperate attempt to protect her son even more, she concentrated all her powers and aimed a deadly curse at Voldemort. 

There was a blinding red light that knocked Harry unconscious.

When Lily opened her eyes again, Riddle had disappeared and the remains of the death Eaters were on the ground.

She was completely drained. She knelt down near her son, putting a hand on his chest to make sure he was alright.

She heard a light noise and turned quickly, her wand raised.

"Lily?" It was Peter Pettigrew, one of James' friends. He came near her and asked, "What has happened here?"

Lily turned around, her back facing him and just said, "Please, call the Aurors, Peter."

The only answer she received was a whispered, "I'm sorry, Lily". 

She felt the worst of the Unforgivable Curses hit her and the last vision she had was that of Harry sleeping quietly.

*********

When Harry woke up, he was lying on a bed.

He opened his eyes slowly. His head was slightly pounding. He put his hand on his forehead and felt something strange, there was now a scar above his right eyebrow. It was shaped like a lightening bolt.

The world around him was completely blurred but he was certain about one thing, it was not his bed. It was twice the size of his own and there were curtains surrounding it.

As he was trying to understand how he had landed in an unknown bed, memories suddenly 

struck him, the chess, the discussion with his mother, the attack and the man who had looked like Sirius… It was Voldemort!

/_Mum!! Where's mum?!_/ He thought in panic.

He opened the curtains and jumped out of the bed but then stopped.

In front of him stood a man and it was… "SEVERUS! What are you doing here? Where am I? What is this place? And where is my mother?!" he exclaimed in one shot.

"Calm down Harry, everything will be explained," Severus answered quietly.

"But where is mum?" Harry asked, worried

"Everything will be explained later," Severus repeated. 

There was a knock on the door and then it opened, revealing James Potter. His face was ravaged.

"DAD!" Harry rushed towards him and leapt into his arms.

"Are you okay?" his father asked.

"Yes, yes. What is this place? Where's Mum?" Harry asked again.

Hi father's eyes filled with tears. He looked so broken. Harry understood but could not admit it.

"Harry," James whispered, barely controlling the trembling of his voice.

"No, no…"

"Harry, I'm so sorry… but your mother… your mother is… gone." And with that last word, his father cried openly.

"No….. NO! YOU'RE LYING! SHE CAN'T BE DEAD! SHE WAS TOO POWERFUL 

FOR THAT! I  SAW HER BEATING ALL THOSE DEATH EATERS!" Harry shouted, crying at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry my son…" James could only say those words again and again.

"No, no, no…" Harry sank to his knees. He was sobbing uncontrollably now.

James held him in his arms while Severus just stood where he was, his face unreadable.

As Harry's sobbing slowly lessened, his father helped him to regain his balance and stood. Still holding him, he said, "There is one last thing you have to know before leaving this room."

Harry looked at him, his red and puffy eyes questioning him.

James pulled his son out of his embrace. He took a little bottle from his pocket and drank it in one.

Little by little his appearance seemed to fade away. Five minutes later, another man stood in front of Harry.

Harry could only stare, and stare, and stare, his eyes not believing what he was seeing.

The man was Lucius Malfoy. 


	3. Explanations

" " : talking  
  
_/… / : thinking  
_  
  


Chapter 3:  Explanations 

"Wha… WHAT THE HELL?!" Harry roared.

"Harry," Lucius said in a calm voice.

"I… You… Where is my father? What have you done to him?" Harry was shaking now, but whether in fear or anger neither Lucius nor Severus knew.

"Harry," Lucius tried again. "Please, let me explain."

But the young wizard was completely deaf to the man's plea. The only thing that occupied his mind right at the moment was that he was with the enemy of his enemy, which did not mean it was good situation. Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy were both known for being Dark Wizards, but whereas Voldemort showed it clearly, nothing had been found that proved Lucius' culpability.

"You, you… where is my father? WHERE IS MY FATHER?" Harry was now screaming hysterically. His breathing was heavy and his shaking had increased to a point where Lucius and Severus wondered if he was not going to hyperventilate and pass out.

Lucius glanced at Severus who had placed himself behind the teenager without him noticing. Lucius then drew out his wand and before Harry could react, cast a calming spell on him. Harry went limp and fell into the waiting arms of his private teacher.

Severus carried him to a sofa that was near a fireplace Harry had not noticed. He placed the young boy in a sitting position and took a place next to him. Lucius took a seat in front of them.

Harry could not move. His mind was in turmoil but his breathing was back to normal and he had stopped shaking. But he felt very tired suddenly.

"What have you done to me?" he asked in a whisper.

"I only cast a calming spell on you. You were so stressed and panicked that you were going to pass out. Moreover, I need you to be calm to listen to what I am going to tell you," Lucius replied.

Harry could only stare at Lucius, but he moved his hand to reach Severus' arm and squeezed it slightly. Severus squeezed back as a gesture of reassurance.

"Harry… Harry… I'm…I'm your father," Lucius finally said quietly.

Harry said nothing.

"I am Lucius Malfoy, but I am also James Potter."

Harry kept staring at him without showing any sign of emotions.

"I… well, it's complicated," Lucius began.

"You know that the Malfoy family is well known and feared by a lot of people in the wizarding world. We have done bad things for generations now. You also know that I'm currently fighting with Riddle to take power in the underworld.

"When I was a child, I was injured during a fight involving my father as I was having a short walk with him. After that event, he decided to make sure I would not be harmed again. He decided to create a back up for me. Something I could turn to if things did not go in the right direction for me.

It was at that moment that James Potter was born. To protect me, he separated himself from my mother, sending her into the Muggle world with a false identity.

"When I was with my father, I was Lucius Malfoy, his only heir. He taught me everything about our family and the business he was doing _business that he would legate to me after his death.When I was with my mother, I was James Potter, a Muggle-born wizard living  as normally as was possible for a wizard.

"I also went into the wizarding world as James, to be recognized as a full entity, completely apart from Lucius. Under that disguise, I met Sirius and the others. I told him and Remus my secret, making them swear they would never reveal it to anyone. I did not tell Peter though; we were not as close as I was with the two others.

"When I was twenty, I married Narcissa. It was an arranged marriage between our two families. You could even use the word 'contract' in fact. Thanks to it, the Malfoys' wealth grew bigger and Narcissa's  family had their name associated with the Malfoys. Although they were feared, even if nothing has been found about their dark side, the Malfoy family was very powerful in other branches too. In the very first year of our marriage, Narcissa became pregnant with Draco, my heir." There, Lucius stopped to see Harry's reaction. The green-eyed boy was still impassive.

"Well, you must know him through the papers. Anyway, I lived quietly as possible for someone like me. I kept on using the identity of James Potter in the Muggle world for my business. My wife and son never knew of it and still don't know.

"By the age of twenty-three, I had become quite famous in the Muggle business world. One day, my personal secretary fell ill and I had to find a substitute for her. That was at that moment that I met your mother. She was very well-qualified. Her CV was impressive, so I decided to call her for a meeting. At first sight I knew she was a witch and she knew I was a wizard. We looked at one another for few minutes and then I said, 'you are hired.'

"At first, we just talked about work, but one Monday morning she asked how my weekend had been, and from then we began to talk about our lives a little. The more I knew her, the more I was attracted to her. I first thought that it was just lust, but I quickly discovered that it was love. I was torn. I wanted to tell her about my true identity but I was afraid to lose her. 

"Then, one day, as I was walking her back to her house, she told me she was in love with me. I was completely dumbstruck. I could not believe it, however, and told her about my feelings, too. From that day, we began to see each other frequently until the day I revealed the truth.

"After a lot of shouting and crying, she accepted remaining as my… mistress. But I hated that word. For me, she was the only wife I wanted to have. So we decided that when we were together, my other life would completely disappear and for the world, James and Lily were a married couple living peacefully together.

"I never thought I could be happier than I was at that time. I only came back to Malfoy Manor for business and saw Narcissa and Draco from time to time.

"We were so overjoyed together, your mother and I, until the day she discovered she was pregnant with you. That was a miracle because normally it was never supposed to happen. The potion I take to become James Potter does not change my only physical appearance, but also my DNA. So when I'm James, I'm really a completely different person, except for my magical signature; that cannot be changed.

"It was believed that under the potion, conceiving children was impossible because of DNA problems and other things.

"So your arrival was truly a gift from the gods. Moreover, seeing that you looked like James was incredible luck. We decided to never mention it to anyone, well, except for Remus and Sirius, for fear that the wizarding world would take you away from us to study you. Also, as my other identity was a secret, well… And when you were a baby, you showed a great amount of power too, which made us more resolute to not talk about your special condition.

"Until tonight, my life was a heaven. And now…" Lucius finally stopped speaking.

He lowered his eyes down to his hands, waiting for the reaction of his son. When nothing came, he raised his eyes again and looked at Harry's face. Tears were flowing freely on his cheeks and he had a confused air about his expression. He looked as if he wanted to say something.

Harry turned towards Severus who now was holding his hand. When he realized it, the older man dropped it.

"Did you know about it?" Harry asked in a whisper.

"Yes, I did," he replied calmly.

Harry seemed to take a deep breath and said, "Get out. Both of you."

This short sentence rang in their ears as if it had been shouted.

"Harry please…" Lucius tried to say.

"Leave me alone. I want to be alone. I need to be alone."

They both understood and complied. Before leaving however, Lucius said softly, "Please, please my son… Don't hate me." 

When the door closed, Harry went over to the bed; he lay down and began to cry as though he would never stop. "It was a lie… My whole life was lie… Who am I? James Potter's son or Malfoy's bastard? A simple human being or an aberration of nature?"

 He cried until he could think of nothing any longer and drifted into sleep.   

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Harry woke up from a dreamless sleep, it was the beginning of the afternoon. He felt lost. He just lay there, not moving. Then, he felt something near him. He turned his head and saw Hedwig. She hooted softly and stretched out her leg to which a letter was attached. 

Harry reached and took the envelope. His name was written on it. He recognized the handwriting immediately. It was his mother's.

His hands were shaking as he opened the envelope. It was scented with the light perfume she used to wear.

Slowly, so slowly, he took out the letter and began to read.

                                                                                                                        August 2nd, 1980

To my dearest sweet little baby boy,

You are so cute! Awww… You've just yawned with your little mouth and tongue, your little hands balled in fists. Your hair is a mess, exactly like your father's. I can't believe you are really here. My little Wonder Boy. 

If you are reading this letter, it means that I have died before your eighteenth birthday, the date your father and I decided to tell you the truth.

I'm so sorry my sweetie, I'm not here for you physically anymore, but I'll always be with you in your memories.

Don't be too sad. At least, you still have your father. 

I suppose that by now, you know the truth. Please, don't be mad at your father. He had good reasons for doing what he did, and I know how much he loves us.

I wish you had seen his face the first time he saw you. He was in tears! He is so sensitive! Worse than a woman! Don't tell him I've just said that, or he'll pout for at least a week! Anyway, you must have a lot of questions. I'll try to answer them all.

Why did I continue to see him, after knowing his little secret?

It's simple, because I love him. I love him so much it hurts sometimes.

When he told me he was married, my world turned upside down. The feeling of betrayal was so intense I thought I was going to die. I thought that after saying this he would go back to his family and ask me to forget him. But he did not. 

I cried and I shouted, telling him he was disgusting. "Are you satisfied now? You managed to seduce another woman than your 'wife'! You disgust me! You played with me knowing that my feelings were real!!! How much you must have laugh!" I yelled at him.

But he shouted back. "I have never played with you! I really love you! I'm deeply in love you! If I wasn't, I wouldn't have told you the truth! As for my wife, I have never loved her, it was just an arranged marriage between our families! I can't divorce because of the contract."

Then he took his potion and changed.

I was horrified. All I could think of was that I was in love with a Dark Wizard and I hated myself because I knew I would never be able to leave him if he asked me to stay with him.

Which he did. On his knees. Can you picture it? The great and so feared Lucius Malfoy, on his knees, begging a Muggle-born like me not to leave him. He told me he loved me in a way he had never thought he could.

I loved him. I still love him. So I said yes. But I made one selfish request, that he would never show to his other 'family' the love he showed to me. I also asked that when he was with me he would keep his appearance of James.

He told me about the potion not allowing him to have children. I was sad but I resigned myself to that fact. So when I discovered I was pregnant with you, I could not believe it at first. When it was confirmed, I cried. I cried for hours, thanking the gods for the gift they had sent to me. When your father came home, my eyes were still red from my crying. He panicked and asked me if something was wrong. I just smiled and told him about you.

You should have seen his reaction. He was speechless for a moment and then he sank on his knees and hugged me, his head resting on my belly, crying as I had done earlier.

Don't see yourself as lower than you are. You are not the illegitimate son of Lucius Malfoy. You are the son of James and Lily Potter. You are the result of our love. Nothing else.

Aww… your little self is calling me now. Your big, big eyes are looking at me with curiosity. Every time I see you I melt. My little baby boy, my son, the second light of my life.

I really hope this letter will help you to accept your current situation.

What ever happens, your father and I will always love you.

Goodbye my sweet,

                                               Love, your mother.

By the end of the letter, Harry was in tears, almost drowning in it. He could feel so much love in the letter. So much caring. So much of his mother.

He put the letter carefully back in the envelope and pressed it tightly against his chest.

/_Thank__ you, mum. You always knew what to tell to comfort me_/ he thought.

He sat on the sofa and looked at the fire, his mind wandering. An hour or so later, he heard a knock on the door. "Come in."

The door opened and Lucius entered the room. Harry looked at him for a moment. Lucius looked afraid; Lucius Malfoy, afraid! But then Harry said, "It's okay now, dad." 

Lucius' eyes widened in surprise. He came towards his son, sat next to him, and hugged him fiercely. They stayed in the embrace for a long time before they broke apart, eyes red from crying. Harry's father then spoke, 

"Now, I'll show you your rooms, and give you a little tour. You are at Malfoy Manor now, your new home. I will also introduce you to your new life."

They heard a knock at the door. 

"Yes?" asked Lucius. The door opened and revealed Severus.

"The rooms are ready, sir."

"Thank you." Lucius answered. He then turned towards Harry. "I'll go first to check that everything is in order. Stay here," he said to both Harry and Severus, and went out of the room. 

After his father disappeared, Harry asked Severus, "Well… are you still going to teach me private lessons, Sev?"

"I don't know, it will depend on your father." Severus' eyes were fixed on the floor.

"Why?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Because I'm not really a teacher; I'm your personal bodyguard, Master Harry" Severus answered, his eyes now looking straight into Harry's.


	4. A new life

" " : talking  
  
/_… _/ _: thinking_  
  
  


Chapter 4: A new life

_/Bodyguard?… MASTER Harry…? / _Harry was stunned. He could only stare at Severus who had lowered his eyes to the floor again. 

As he was going to ask Severus to explain things to him, Lucius came back. He looked at the two of them and asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"He just told me that he was my bodyguard and called me 'Master' Harry! Care to explain, DAD?" Harry answered in a dangerous purr.

For once, Lucius looked slightly embarrassed in front of his son.

"Well… hum… Well… After I fell in love with your mother and decided to live with her, I was constantly worried that something would happen to her when I was not with her.  I suggested she let me give her a bodyguard, but she refused, arguing that she was strong enough to take care of herself. I accepted and did not bring the subject again until you came. 

"At that moment, I was adamant about the bodyguard, but she still refused. However, when you asked for a private teacher I took the opportunity and ordered Severus to look after you without telling your mother. Not long after, she discovered the truth, but finally accepted."

Harry said nothing, but then he narrowed his eyes and asked Severus, "If you are my bodyguard… WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE WERE ATTACKED?!" 

Severus lowered his head and Lucius answered for him, his voice hoarse, "He was with me. We were in Knockturn Alley for some business dealing with potions and so I needed him. Because of the wards surrounding the house I thought you would be safe. I never thought he would be able to enter the house…"

"He took the appearance of Sirius," Harry said.

"I know. Sirius arrived not long after I found you. They had managed to capture him, put him under the Imperius curse and make him enter the house then they knocked him unconscious. I think they planned on taking him to their basement to 'play' with him for a while after the attack."

"Oh." Was Harry's only reply.

"Where is he now?", he asked after a moment.

"He is resting in one of the guest rooms."

"Okay."

There was a heavy silence.

"So… where is my new room?" Harry finally asked in a low voice.

"Let me show you," His father answered.They walked out of the room, Severus following behind the two other men. On the way to the 

new room, Harry suddenly asked, "And what about the 'Master' thing?"

"Severus is working for the Malfoys, and so he has to be respectful towards the membersof the family, as you are a part of it, one of the important parts in fact, it's only logical and normal. Don't be upset about it," Lucius said.

"But he's my friend!" Harry exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Harry but here he can't talk with you as he used to."

"But…" Harry tried to argue.

"Well, at least not when there are other people around. Ah, here we are!" His father said.

They stopped in front of the heavy, finely sculpted door.

"I really hope you'll like it." And with that he opened the door wide.

Harry entered and stopped, speechless. The room was incredibly BIG. He could not believe his eyes. The colours were a bright red and a golden yellow and there was an enormous crystal chandelier in the middle of the high ceiling. On his left, there were several large windows with delicate curtains that were still thick enough to hide the light of the sun if he wanted to.

The bed was on his right near the wall; a four-poster bed with refined curtains too. Harry walked closer and touched them. They felt like silk. Five people could easily sleep in the bed. A fireplace faced the door. There were carvings on its frame representing unicorns and  griffins. In front of the fireplace stood a very comfortable-looking couch A writing desk was placed under one of the windows, next to Hedwig's cage and in one of the corner was 

Harry's Firebolt. The other walls were covered with bookshelves. The majority of the books were ones Harry had already read and they were his favourites. There were also books he had never read but he planned to. There was also a part of the wall where a poster of his favourite Quidditch team was hung. On the mantelpiece were pictures of himself with his parents, and some others of his mother alone. Above the mantelpiece stood a rather large mirror with a frame which was also beautifully sculpted.

Harry stood in the middle of his new chamber looking lost in his thoughts.

"Do you like it?" his father asked.

There was no reply, and then, "It's incredible. Are all the rooms like this?"

"Almost. After all you are at Malfoy Manor now," Lucius answered, rather smugly.

"Well… about that, what happens to me now? What are you going to tell your other… 'family'?" Harry asked, unsure.

"I know it will be another shock for you, but for the rest of the world, James Potter is dead. Lily put in her testament that she chose me, Lucius Malfoy, as your legal guardian until you are 18. As for the 'others', they still don't know about you."

"My 'father' is… dead? And you are my guardian? How are they going to react?"

"I really don't care. In any case, they would never do something to hurt you, they wouldn't dare risk my anger," Lucius said in a dangerous tone.

"On another subject, I have to say that your mother's funeral will take place in three days and until then you are allowed to stay at home," he added, his voice now a low murmur.

Harry stiffened a little. Suddenly, Lucius took him in his arms again for a tight hug. He finally released him and said, "So, I'll let you rest and I will return to take you to dinner, okay?"

Harry nodded and Lucius went out.

Severus stood near the door, arms crossed on his chest and head lowered. After a while, Harry finally spoke. "You heard, dad said you don't have to call me 'Master' Harry. Just call me Harry like before."

"But you heard him too. He also said that in Malfoy Manor, I'm your employee and so I have to show you respect."

"You were my 'employee' at home before and I never heard you call me that!"

"But your status was different then, you were Harry Potter; now you are…"

"What? The illegitimate son of Lucius Malfoy? I don't think it's a reason to call me 'master'. On the contrary, I think most people would treat me with disdain."

"No! You are the son of Lucius Malfoy. And he loves you very much. I must be respectful to you," Severus said, looking into Harry's eyes.

"Please, Severus, stop it. I'm here in a strange new house, facing a new life, a life I don't want and here you stand, one of the last pieces linking me to my former life. Please, please, don't destroy it. Aren't we still friends?" By now, Harry's voice was thick with sadness.

"Of course we are!" Severus could not stop himself from shouting his answer. "Of course we are," he repeated. "It's just, you know how people react when they hear the name 'Malfoy'; they expect the people linked to that name to be frightening and very much attached to social position. I have to maintain the façade, at least in public," he finally added.

"So, when we're alone, you'll act like before?" Harry asked, his voice full of hope.

"If it's what you want…"

"Of course I want it!" And with that he threw himself into the arms of his bodyguard. Harry embraced him close until he realized what he was doing and jerked abruptly away from the warm circle of Severus' arms. "Sorry," he whispered, blushing.

Before Severus could answer, a knock on the door was heard. "Who is it?" Harry enquired.

"It's Sirius."

Harry opened the door and jumped into his godfather's arms. "Sirius! Are you okay now?" he asked just after the door closed.

"Yes, yes. I recovered completely. Oh Harry, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault, it's all my fault…" Sirius sobbed, tightening his embrace, his face buried in his godson's hair.

Harry felt tears spreading on his cheeks too.

"No, Sirius, don't say that. It was not your fault. How could you have known that that bastard would be after you? It was not your fault."

Little by little, Sirius' sobs lessened. He finally raised his head and met Harry's brilliant eyes that smiled at him through his own tears.

"What a mess we are now! If your dad enters now, he's likely to hex me into next month for having made his precious boy cry," Sirius stated in a low murmur,trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Harry giggled at that, knowing it was true. "Yeah, do you have a tissue? Because I don't."

Suddenly, a handful of Kleenex appeared in front of them. Severus looked at them still holding the tissues and saying nothing.

"Thanks," Sirius and Harry said at the same time.

After that, Harry, Sirius and Severus tried to have a normal conversation, talking generally about Quidditch, comfortably installed on the sofa.

But Harry could not relax. He felt very nervous. After all, he was going to meet the other part of his father's life. How were they going to react?

He began pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace, Sirius and Severus witnessing his behaviour with a quizzical looks on their faces.

"Harry, what's the problem?" Sirius finally asked. "Please, stop pacing like that, you're going to make me dizzy."

"How are they going to react?" Harry asked them bluntly.

"What? Who?"

"Dad's other family. They'll reject me, I'm sure of it."

"Calm down Harry," Sirius said. "You know your father will never let them talk to you 

nastily."

"That's not the point. Well… no, in fact it is. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh……..! Why am I even bothering to worry about it? They'll hate me anyway." 

Severus was going to reply when a knock was heard and Lucius entered the room.

"Harry, it's time. Sirius! How are you?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, Luc. Well… I think I'll go back to my room and take dinner there. See you later Harry," Sirius said as he left.

"Ready to go?" Lucius asked.

"Not really, but I suppose I'll never be. Let's go, dad. Are you coming Severus?"

Severus simply nodded.

When they finally reached the dining room, Harry felt a little lost. They had turned so many times and taken so many different corridors that he was sure he would not be able to find his rooms again. But as soon as he saw the dining room, that thought vanished to be replaced by awe.

It was huge! It was brightly lit with what looked like thousands of candles and at the centre of the room stood a rectangular table that was very, very large. It was at that moment that Harry saw them, a woman and a young man.

The woman was sitting at one of the end of the table. She had long fair hair, styled into a French braid and pale blue eyes that were cold as ice. She wore a blue silk dress robe, looking very expensive and matching the colour of her eyes. She was beautiful but her appearance was altogether cold.

And the young man… Harry's eyes widened in recognition. It was the same man he had seen flirting with Severus last year! He had short blond hair slicked back on his head, and cool grey eyes. He wore leather trousers with a bottle green shirt tucked into them, outlining his slim form. He was sitting at the woman's right.

When the young man saw them arrive, he stood, but the woman remained in her seat. Moving Harry in front of him and setting his hands on Harry's shoulders, Lucius finally spoke.

"This is Harry Potter. He will live with us from now on. Harry, this is my wife, Narcissa, and my son, Draco."

Harry approached the young man and said, rather unsure, "How do you do?" with his right hand outstretched.

The other young man looked at it but did not shake it nor did he respond to Harry.

Lucius growled, "Draco…"

"It's okay, don't worry dad." 

As soon as he said the word 'dad', Harry clapped his hand on his mouth and turned towards his father rather panicked. Lucius just smiled and said, "Don't worry my sweet, I was going to tell them anyway." Then, turning towards the other two in front of him, whose faces had not even looked surprised at Harry's words, he added coldly, "Yes, Harry is my son. I don't want to hear any questions about it. You'll behave accordingly towards him, but no one outside the manor must know he is my son. If you ever tell anybody, I swear you'll regret it."

Harry was shocked. He had never heard his father talking like that before. He understood at that moment why Lucius Malfoy was so feared in the wizarding world.

After this little speech, Lucius took his place at the other end of the table leading Harry to his place as well. Harry was on his right and Severus on his left. Draco sat at the place he had before.

The dinner went rather awkwardly for Harry. First, they were served by house elves, which shocked him a little. He remembered the conversations he had on this subject with his mother; she had always disapproved of their slavery. Second was the attitude of his father. Actually, it did not change from before, but it was the fact that he acted like that as Lucius Malfoy and in front of his other family. He acted like a mother hen, continually asking if everything was alright, if he liked what he was eating, or if he wanted some more of the food. 

For Harry, the worst moment was when his father asked him if he wanted some salt. After he declined, Lucius put back the saltcellar on the table, but then Draco asked for it and Lucius just said, "Come and take it".

In a way, Harry felt very sorry for Draco and Narcissa. He remembered what his mother had confessed to him in her letter, the fact that she had asked Lucius to never love them as he loved her and Harry. But at the same time, he thought of Draco and Severus together and the way Draco had seemed to flirt with Severus that day.

As soon as he finished his meal, Harry asked his father if he could go back to his rooms. Lucius at first refused, saying that he had not eaten dessert, but Harry told him he was a bit tired. So immediately, his father stood to take him back to his rooms but Harry refused, arguing that he had not finished his own meal. Severus then stood up and said he would do it as he had finished. 

Lucius thanked him, kissed Harry on his forehead and wished him a good night. Harry smiled and left, glancing at Narcissa and Draco and wishing them good night. He saw Draco looking at him in a strange way. As before he did not receive any reply.

Harry felt eyes on his back as he was exiting the room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Severus led the way to Harry's chamber. Harry took note of some markers to be able to go back to the dining room for breakfast the next day.

They finally reached the door of his room. Harry had decided to ask his father to put a sign on it to help him recognize where his room was until he didn't need it anymore.

He opened his door, then turn around and asked, "Where are your rooms, Severus?"

"They are just next to yours." He answered indicating the room on his left.

 "How come?"

"Your father wants me to be always near you from now on. In fact, he even wanted me to sleep in your room, but I argued that you'll need private space."

Harry just looked at him, his eyes widened a bit because of the information and he blushed at the idea of Severus sleeping in the same room as him.

"Well, um, would you mind staying with me a little bit please? I don't feel like being alone right now," Harry stuttered, hands clenched at his side.

"Of course, no problem." And they entered Harry's room together.

They reached the couch and sat down. There was a fire blazing in the fireplace. "I don't remember starting a fire," Harry said, perplexed.

"It must be the house elves. After all, we are in October and it's a little cold outside."

"I can't believe my father has house elves. I mean, after all the debates we had with mum, I would have never thought he would use them," Harry said in a low voice.

"He is Lucius Malfoy. The Malfoy family has used house elves for generations. He can't break from that."

"But he is also my father and I know my father would never use slaves!"

"Harry, it's complicated now, you know that. He is your loving father but he is also Lucius Malfoy. He has to keep the façade now 'James' is dead. He will only show you his love inside the manor. Do you understand?"

"No… yes… Why does my life have to be so complicated?" Harry tucked up his knees, crossed his arms over them and put his head on top.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. You should rest now. Go to bed." Severus helped Harry up and put him in bed.

"Good night," Harry whispered.

"Good night," Severus replied softly. "Sweet dreams," he added in a whisper, after he closed the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The three days that followed were torture for Harry. He could not bear the cold atmosphere of the house. Even if his father was there, he could not stay with Harry all the time as he had to go to work. Harry had tried again to deepen his relationship with Draco and Narcissa but whenever Lucius took off for work, they just ignored him and he did not want to create problems by saying that to his father.

At least there was still Severus, but he, too, did not talk to him very much when the others were around. And as Harry had to stay in the manor for security, he wandered around it all the time instead of staying in his room.

Sirius had left the day after the real first night Harry had spent in the manor as Lucius' son. 

Harry felt more and more depressed; he felt he was out of place there.  Sometimes, he could feel Draco's eyes on him and Severus. Even if Draco still did not speak to him, he spoke to Severus which unnerved Harry. To be blunt, he was simply jealous. He did not know why; it was just a fact.

Then, the day of the funerals of Lily and James came. Harry cried through the whole ceremony. His friends were there to comfort him, but he could not stop the tears from falling. He really had the impression that both his parents had died.

During the reading of the last will of James and Lily, everybody was shocked to learn that Lucius Malfoy was Harry's legal guardian. In fact, there was even a line that stated that if they both died, Harry would be adopted by Lucius. So, Harry Potter became Harry Malfoy a few hours later.

When he went back to his still 'new' home (Harry found it difficult to just call it 'home'), he lay on his bed. His father had to go and fix some details of the adoption documents.

Harry felt drained and completely alone. He began to cry silently, his arms crossed over his face. He did not hear the knock on his door, nor did he see Severus coming in. So he was surprised when he heard his voice.

"Harry, I know it's difficult and painful, but you have to be strong, at least for your father."

"But he didn't even CRY! He just stood there as if it was nothing!" Harry shot back.

"Harry you are not being fair; you know he can't show his real feelings. Malfoys never cry in public. You have to be strong now, you are a Malfoy, too."

"But I don't want to, if it means that I have to act like an utter bastard! 'Malfoys don't cry, 

Malfoys don't show any emotions'! But I'm not a Malfoy, I'm Harry Potter! Potter!" he said and sobbed uncontrollably. 

"Harry, think about your father! Do you think he is happy not being able to show his sorrow over the death of the only woman he has ever loved? You can't hate him, he loves you so much! For him you are his only son! Draco doesn't exist for him!" Severus exclaimed.

This seemed to calm Harry. His sobs lessened. He sat on his bed, looking for the tissues that Severus had given him. After regaining control of himself, Harry whispered, "Yeah, I noticed. I'm kinda sorry for Draco. Dad is so kind with me and so cold with him."

Severus just nodded.

"Is that why you are so kind to him? Do you love him?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?" Severus asked, taken aback.

"Well, he talks to you and when he does, he always seems happy. And… I saw you and him once, last year. He looked like he was flirting with you." Harry whispered.

"Him? Flirting with me? No! He's like a little brother to me!" Severus said vehemently.

Harry felt relieved. "Really? Is it the same with me?" he asked.

Severus looked at him a little shocked. "No, no… it's different…"

"So you've never kissed him?" Harry asked shyly.

"No."

There was an awkward silence following this dialogue. Severus had his eyes on the floor and had decided to leave, but then he felt a warm hand on his arm. He looked up and his gaze plunged into the emerald orbs that were in front of him. 

Unconsciously, their faces were going closer and closer to each other until there was only half an inch between them.

Harry closed his eyes and took the last step. Severus closed his eyes too and felt warm lips on his. He leaned towards them softly. For a few seconds, it was just two mouths sealed in a tender kiss, but this brief, shy kiss woke something deeper in Severus. 

His mouth became more curious. He tilted his head on one side and ran his tongue along Harry's bottom lip, begging for entrance. Harry was startled and he opened his lips to say something but his mouth was invaded by a warm, searching tongue. Harry did not 

fight it and accepted it with a great joy. Their tongues entwined and stroked each other sensually. 

Harry felt arms circling him, rubbing his back in a soothing gesture. Then one of the hands slid to his neck and nestled there, massaging his skull and stroking his hair. Harry, too, embraced Severus and just melted under the assault of sensations.

Eventually they had to stop to come up for some air. They rested their foreheads against one another and thought at the same time /OH MY GOD!/ 


	5. Up and Downs

" " : talking  
  
_/… / : thinking_  
  
  


Chapter 5: Complications

Harry and Severus were still trying to catch their breath. Both of them were amazed by what had just happened. They opened their eyes at the same time. Severus drowned in the emerald green orbs blazing with passion in front of him, and Harry felt pulled into the dark onyx eyes of his bodyguard.

"Severus…"

"Harry…"

Neither of them finished their sentences as they heard a knock on the door. Severus detached himself from Harry in a rush, creating a large gap between them. Another knock was heard and Harry finally responded in a rather clear voice, "Yes?"

"Harry, sweet, it's me." Harry's father answered.

"Come in!"

The door opened slowly and Lucius appeared in the doorway. Severus took the opportunity to leave them alone after bowing his head to both of them. 

Harry wanted him to stay but could not say  a word in front of his father. As the door closed, Lucius sat on the bed next to Harry; "Are you okay?" he asked in a low voice.

"Yes, yes…", Harry whispered, his cheeks still flushed from his first kiss.

"Are you sure? You seem a little red, do you have a fever?" his father asked, worried. He put his hand on Harry's forehead.

"No, I swear I'm okay dad, don't worry."

"Okay then. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright, at least, as alright as one can be on such a day. And I wanted to… I needed to hug you. Do you mind?" Lucius asked in a small, unmalfoy-like voice.

"Yes, yes of course!" and Harry threw his arms around his father's neck. Lucius just rested his head on Harry's shoulder, saying nothing. Then Harry heard soft sobs coming from him; he felt his body shake and the embrace of his father tightened.

"Please, my little one, forgive me. Forgive me for not telling you the truth, forgive me for not being able to save your mother, forgive me for not being able to show my real feelings in public," Lucius whispered, his voice breaking. 

"You have nothing to apologize for! I understand!" Harry answered truthfully.

"Now your mother is gone, you are my only reason to live. If you had died with her, I would not have been able to survive. Thank you for being here… I know things will be difficult but I'll do everything to make you happy," Lucius murmured.

They stayed in the embrace a long time before pulling away. They both had red eyes, but looked more peaceful than before. Then, Lucius suddenly asked, "Why was Severus here with you?"

Harry tried to stop his blushing and answered as calmly as possible, "I felt depressed so… he was comforting me."

"Ah, it's very kind of him, he is a really good person, isn't he? He'll be a very attentive and careful bodyguard for you." Lucius said. /He owes me that after all/ he thought.

After a little moment of silence, Harry asked in a whisper, "How did you meet him?"

"Well, you had been born a few weeks before; for me life was wonderful. I was in Diagon Alley, doing some shopping for your mother when a young boy tried to steal my wallet. I managed to stop him before he fled.

"He was a pathetic little boy, dirty and skinny, but I could feel his magic; he had a great potential in him.

"I made a deal with him; I promised not to give him to the authorities if he followed me to the Manor. He accepted, quite reluctantly.

"There, I ordered the house elves to make him take a bath and change his clothes.

"As he was doing so, I asked myself why I was doing this. It was because of you. You had created something new in my heart. When I saw him, it was you I saw, a possible version of you with black eyes, showing me what you could have been if life had been different.

"When we finally reached my workroom, I saw a little boy with pale skin and intelligent eyes that shone with fear. He told me later that he was afraid I would use him as a slave.

"I asked him to sit and I summoned a house elf, asking it to bring some food.

"When everything arrived, I questioned the young boy about his life; I knew he could not lie because I put Veritaserum in his tea.

"So he told me everything, how his parents died in an accident when he was seven. At that moment he was just ten years old. He had gone in an orphanage but had runaway a year ago because he did not like the life there and he thought he would be able to care of himself.

"I made a deal with him. I would send him to school and he would work for me until he paid back all the money I spent on his education. He accepted immediately. From then on, he lived in the manor and he became friends with Draco.

"As I expected, he was a very intelligent and powerful wizard. He was first in his year group every year. After Hogwarts, he asked me to help him in becoming theapprentice of one of the best potions masters of that time. I agreed, of course.

"I also pushed him to learn martial arts and sword fighting. Maybe my subconscious had decided already what I wanted him to do for me. He then became my personal potion master. 

"As he had grown older, we became, I don't know, friends you could say, but I saw him also as one of my relatives. A little as if he was my son, but totally different from Draco or you. 

"When you told me you wanted private tuition in potions and DADA to improve your grades, I decided to tell him my secret and to ask him to become your bodyguard.

"Of course, he was surprised at first, but accepted without question."

Harry and Lucius remained silent for a moment and then Harry asked,

"Why… why are you so cold with Draco when you are so kind and overprotective with me? I mean, he is your son too, and compared to me, he deserves it more…"

"How many times will I have to tell you? You are the only son I really wanted to have. Draco is just my heir. You are my heart," Lucius answered forcefully.

"But because of that, he hates me. No, don't reply, let me finish. I mean, if I had been in his situation, I would have hated me as well, to discover that my father has another son that he loves with such a strength when he is so cold with me at the same time. It must be heart-shattering," Harry said softly.

Lucius looked into the deep green eyes of his adored son. "Alright, I'll make an effort towards Draco from now on. Happy?"

"Thank you dad."

**********

While Harry and Lucius were having their little conversation, Severus was in his room, pacing back and forth like a caged lion. He finally stopped and sat on his bed, elbows on his knees and face in his hands.

/_What have I done? How did it happen?/_ his mind was screaming.

/_He is so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful… His eyes, his lips… his skin, so soft under my fingers… He is so innocent, so vulnerable…_/__

The memory of the kiss they had shared came back, full force. He could still feel Harry's soft lips on his own, so light, so shy, not knowing what to do.

Severus had completely drowned in Harry's innocence.

"So vulnerable…" He whispered to himself. And then, his eyes shot wide open, / _Oh my God! I…  I took advantage of him! He was just lost because of the funeral, he was only looking for comfort and I… I…!/_

But he was the one who initiated the kiss, his inner voice said.  

/_It was just because of the circumstances! He felt alone and he wanted tenderness. He was not in his right mind! And I, and I …!/_

Severus went on and on in that way the rest of the night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Harry woke up the next morning, he was alone in his bed. He and his father had talked until late in the night and had fallen asleep in each other's arms.

After putting his glasses in place, he found a letter from his father telling him that he had had to leave for work very early. He also explained to Harry that he had put the strongest wards that existed in the wizarding world on the main door and the windows of Harry's rooms. From that moment, Harry was the only one able to enter his rooms but he could invite his friends in, and even key the wards to them to allow them to enter without him having to cast the spell allowing it each time. He just had to put their hand on the door knob, and then his own on theirs, and say the formula, "From now on, you are always welcome here." 

After reading the letter, Harry went into his private bathroom. He had thought at first that the door near his bed was a closet, but discovered a magnificent bathroom made in white and gold marble, with an enormous bathtub and a separate shower on one side, and a toilet on the other side.

He took a quick shower and tried, like every morning, to tame his hair. He then put his uniform on. When he opened the door, Severus was waiting for him, leaning against the wall in front of Harry's rooms. His face was neutral.

Harry blushed remembering their kiss. "Hello," he said shyly.

"Good morning, Master Harry," Severus replied bowing his head. Harry looked shocked.

"Severus?"

"Yes, Master Harry?"

 "Why are you calling me that again?"

"Because I have to, sir."

"But what about yesterday?" Harry asked, his lips trembling.

"Yesterday was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. You were vulnerable and not thinking about what you were doing," Severus answered in a low voice.  

"No! That's not true! I…"

"And nothing can happen between us. I'm your bodyguard, that's all."

Harry wanted to say something but nothing would come out. He just looked hurt, with eyes full of unshed tears. Then he turned his head and went towards the dinning room silently.

When they reached the room, Harry had managed to regain control over himself. He greeted Narcissa and Draco, who were already taking their breakfast. Neither of them bothered to greet him back but Harry did not care. He understood their resentment towards him, but wanted to remain polite.

Severus did not sit but stood by Harry's seat, saying nothing.

*********

The days went by without much change in Severus' behaviour; he acted the devoted bodyguard he was supposed to be, but he never talked to Harry the same way he did before.

School was more or less fine. When Harry had returned the day next after the funeral, he had caused a sensation by arriving at Hogwarts in the private carriage of the Malfoys, instead of taking the magical school bus that picked up the students all over Great Britain.

Then he had received countless remarks of sympathy from his housemates, and pupils from other houses, except for the Slytherins. They were thinking about the behaviour they should adopt towards the new 'Malfoy'.

Life was grey for Harry; he had his friends, but Severus' rejection had hurt him, and the coldness he felt in the manor was depressing him. His father was still there, of course, but because of his work, he was more and more busy.

A few days after he returned to school, rumours started to flow. Rumours about him being the bastard son of Malfoy (which was true in a way) but said in such a way that his mother appeared like a... like a....

He could hear them whispering behind his back. "Is it true? Is he the bastard of Malfoy? But he doesn't look like him!" and "Maybe his 'father' makes him wear a glamour charm so as to avoid raising suspicion."

"Who would have thought that of Lily Evans?" and "Being the whore of a Malfoy must have its advantages…"

Blaise Zabini, Harry's worst enemy at school since his first year, actually asked him in front of everybody, "Is it true Potter? Oops, I mean 'Malfoy'. Your mother was a slut who gave herself to Lucius? Your father was that bad in bed?"

Harry's friends were outraged and furious. They started to shout at Zabini. Harry did not react; finally he just said in a deadly whisper, "Take it back."

"Or what? You'll tell your 'father'?" Zabini sniggered.

"No. I'll kill you," and with that he tackled down the boy and began to punch him and kick him, hard.

By the time teachers arrived, Zabini was a mess of flesh and blood. Harry was completely out of control. Professor McGonagall managed to separate him from his prey, but could not stop him shouting,

"Don't you dare say that again you fucking shit! And that goes for all of you, do you hear me?! If I ever hear something like that again about my mother, I swear you'll regret it! Hell will look like Heaven compared to what I'll do to you!" With that, Harry broke down into 

hysterical sobbing. During all his shouting, the walls and the floor were trembling as if there was an earthquake, and some windows literally exploded. 

Harry was led to the Headmaster's office still crying. When he arrived in the room, Dumbledore welcomed him. He gave him a chair and some tissues to clean his tear-stained face. A few minutes later, Severus arrived. Harry looked at him and then lowered his eyes to the floor.

"So, what happened?" the Headmaster asked softly.

"It's Zabini… he said some awful things about my mother, that she had, she had… I can't even say it! It was so disgusting! He was insulting her! And so I got mad, I couldn't stop myself… I was so angry…."

As he stopped speaking, he raised his eyes and saw that Severus was fuming. Dumbledore's eyes were not twinkling as usual as he finally replied,

"His words were unacceptable, it's true, but you shouldn't have lost control like that. When Mister Zabini comes out of the hospital wing he will be given detention for a month and already fifty points have been taken from his house. But you'll have detention, too, though only for one week, is that understood?"

"Yes sir," Harry murmured.

"Good. Now I think it will be better for you to go back to your classes."

Harry nodded and got out of the office. Severus exploded as soon as the door shut. 

"It is intolerable! One month of detention?! You should have given him a year! Wait until Mister Malfoy hears about this! He will ask for his head!"

"I know, I know… would you please tell him what happened? And that I'll be here if he wants to talk to me?"

"Of course, Headmaster," Severus said somewhat calmer again.

"Thank you. So, how is it to work for so young a master?" Dumbledore suddenly asked.

"It's nothing much, really. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll prepare for Harry's return," and then he exited, his robes billowing behind him.

"Harry, hm? Interesting," Dumbledore whispered, his eyes twinkling again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In the carriage that took them back home, Harry said nothing and Severus did not dare saying anything to his young master. He had to restrain himself from wrapping his arms tightly around the younger boy.

Since the kiss, Severus had thought a lot about his feelings towards the green eyed boy and had arrived at the realization that he was in love with him. Since when, he could not tell; it was just a fact. 

He was in love; deeply, madly in love with a sixteen year old teenager. Because of that he was drowning in self loathing. 

Every time Harry was not looking, Severus looked at him as if he was some work of art, which he definitely was, slim hips, long legs, smooth tanned skin, ebony-black shoulder length hair, slightly pink cheeks, full lips, begging to be ravished, and big emerald eyes. He was now five feet and four inches tall, and reached Severus' shoulders.

But Severus would never allow himself to confess his feelings to the young wizard; he thought he was not worth the love of such an innocent person. Working for Lucius was not always a pleasant thing to do.

 He had done things he would never be able to forgive himself for. Moreover, Harry was the son of Lucius, and Severus did not dare to imagine the reaction of his master if he ever discovered the truth about his feelings for Harry, even if, thinking about it, he was sure Lucius' reaction would be the same towards any male or female who would dare try to 'steal' Harry's love away from him.

So, he acted as if he felt nothing peculiar for his young master. 

********

After diner, Harry went to his favourite place in the manor, after his own rooms. It was a huge room in the south tower, from where the stars looked near enough to be touched. The windows were huge and the balcony was very large. Harry loved to sit down, lean against one of the closed French windows and look at the sky full of stars.

He knew it was silly, but he had the impression that this way, his mother was able to see him; he could feel her presence around him.

This night however, he felt a little cold and his eyes were full of tears. "Mum… I miss you so much…" Harry whispered to the wind.

He almost had a heart attack when he heard a voice asking, "What are you doing here?"

Harry turned his head towards the intruder and found himself looking straight into Draco's eyes. He quickly wiped away his tears and stood up. "I'm sorry, I like this place so I came  here to think and look at the stars."

There was an uneasy silence and Harry was about to go back to his rooms when Draco stopped him. "I saw that you seemed under the weather tonight, is there something wrong?" he asked quietly.

Harry could not believe his ears; Draco had asked him if he was alright! And his eyes… They were not cold and shut as usual. They were different, as if he cared, but that was impossible, wasn't it?

"I, I had a difficult day today…" Harry heard himself reply. "There was this boy who said horrible things about my mum…" Harry then realized what he had just said, and looked at the floor.

"Harry, look at me," Draco said.

Harry raised his eyes and Draco continued,

"You don't have to be ashamed or feel uncomfortable around me. I'm a grown-up now, or at least I'm almost one!" he said jokingly. "It's true, the first time I saw you, I hated you. You appeared from nowhere and father was there treating you in a way he had never done with me. His face shone with love for you and I was jealous. I wanted you to disappear and give me back the love I deserved. 

"And then, I thought about everything. Him, you, your mother… and I began to understand. It wasn't really your fault if father didn't love me. For him, you are the symbol of his love for your mother. Don't look surprised, I'm not blind; I know father never loved my mother and that I was born only because he needed anheir. 

"Moreover, there is Severus. He seems to like you very much, and it upset me because he was the first person to show concern and caring for me besides mother.

"Anyway, if you want it, I would like to be your friend from now and maybe it will move to something more later, what do you think?"

Harry was speechless. He had always wanted a brother and there was Draco proposing that they become friends and maybe that he could become the brother he had  always dreamt of having.

His eyes filled with tears again; he slowly held out his hand, repeating the gesture he made the first time they had met. 

Draco smiled and took it. They shook hands slowly, smiling and looking into each other's eyes.

That night, Draco and Harry Malfoy were not friends yet, but had made the first move towards it.


	6. Acceptance

" " : talking  
  
_/… / : thinking_

Chapter 6: Acceptance

Once upon a time, there lived a little boy named Draco.

He was no ordinary little boy. Oh no, not at all. His entire name was Draco Alexander Louis Armand Malfoy, as in the very powerful and feared Malfoy family. Moreover, he was the sole heir of said family.

So, as a consequence, he was treated like a little prince. He had all the things little boys generally dream about, lots of toys, clothes, animals and people whoobeyed his every wish.

However, there was one thing that he didn't have. That thing was the most important of all, and Draco longed to have it, the love of his father.

He had known since he was five that his father did not love him. Ah, he did not hate him, it was just that he had no feelings for Draco and it hurt the little boy deeply.

His mother loved him and worshipped him as if he was a god. But it was not enough. He wanted his daddy to see him, be proud of him and love him.

In fact, Draco vaguely remembered times when his father used to spend some time with him, playing a little or just staying with him as he was working. But everything changed little by little between his fourth and fifth birthday.

His father came back home later and later and stayed fewer and fewer nights at home. Soon, there were whole weeks when Draco did not see him at all.

And then, after the 31st of July, 1981, his father completely stopped living at home. He only came to do work and for the receptions.

Draco remembered this day very well. It was the last time his father had played with him. They were in the living room; Draco was on his little broomstick, proud to be able to control it well, when an owl went through the window, landed on his father's lap and delivered him a small piece of paper.

After reading it, his father stood up abruptly, his face reflecting a mix of feelings, stress, fear and happiness. He exited the room without a single look towards Draco and it was one of the servants who made him get down from his broomstick. 

He came back two weeks later with a young boy who was older than Draco. He presented him as a new friend for Draco. He was ecstatic, he had a friend and it was his father who had found him for him! He was certain that after that their bond would grow stronger, but he was wrong. After that day, his father would barely talk to him or even acknowledge him. He seemed to remember him only during the receptions where he presented him as his heir.

From then on, Draco began to hate being mentioned as the sole heir of the Malfoy family. He felt like an exhibited animal whose utility was just to be an heir and not a simple boy with thoughts and feelings.

He became friend with the young boy that now lived with them. It had been difficult at the 

beginning but he had finally made it.

First it was friendship, and then something that looked like brotherhood. It was the first time that someone other than his mother had cared about him.

But as he grew up, Draco's feelings changed. He had discovered he preferred the company of other men when he was sixteen, and when he saw Severus the following summer it was with new eyes.

Clearly it was a crush; he thought that every thing in Severus was beautiful and incredible, his pitch black hair that looked so soft, his ebony eyes that could show all his emotions when he allowed himself to let go. His long hands, graceful like those of an artist, his slim body slightly muscled (they liked to swim together from time to time so he had been able to see it) and his pale skin made him look like some Greek work of art.

But Severus himself did not know about this and Draco never summoned up the courage to tell him. He was afraid that if he did, Severus would reject him and their friendship would never be the same. He liked Severus so much that he did not want to put his relationship with him at risk.

So, he had lovers, after all he was a hormonal teenager, but he confided all his feelings to 

Severus and asked him for advice. Thanks to that, he discovered that Severus, too, was of male persuasion, and that he had lovers, but they usually did not last long.

When Draco was seventeen, Severus began to live outside the manor; he had finished his apprenticeship and was working for Lucius full-time. Draco asked him once what his job was. Severus did not answer and looked at him in such a way that he changed the subject quickly and never asked again.

Of course Draco knew about his father's activities, the legal and the illegal ones, drugs, dark arts items and bribery. Everything would be left to him later and he would work with his father when he was ready. 

After graduating, he had gone on a trip all around the world, magical and Muggle. It had been an order from his father, one of the rare times when he spoke to him, which were always to order him to do something. Even if it was pathetic, at least that was what he thought, he liked those rare moments when he could see his father and talk to him, or to say it correctly, listen to and obey him. It made him believe that his father cared about him. And in a way, he did; he wanted Draco to be a true Malfoy, but that was all.

It had been an interesting trip; he had discovered that Muggles were not useless beings. In fact, he had managed to make some friends because they did not know what his name represented.

When he came back, he began to study at one of the most prestigious universities in England, but he did not know if it was because of his grades or the influence of his father.

He met Severus from time to time. His attraction was still there and it made him suffer, but not too much. He was determined to tell him one day, when he was sure he really was in love with him.

Life was calm, as calm as possible for the Malfoy family, until the day when HE entered the manor.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was around midnight. Draco was reading quietly on the couch in front of the fireplace in the library when he heard some noises outside.

Intrigued, he went out in the corridor and as he was turning a corner, he saw his father coming straight to him holding something in his arms. Draco was in shock because his father was clearly devastated; it was the first time he had seen his father display any feelings other than coldness. Severus was right behind him and looked upset, too. 

As his father walked past him as if he were not there, Draco saw what was in his arms, it was a boy, a teenager that seemed to have a wound on the forehead. It was all he managed to see before his father and Severus disappeared around another corner. The warning look Severus had sent him prevented him from following them.

He went to his own room, wondering about what had happened to shake his father and Severus that much.

/_Who is that boy?/_ was the question that obsessed him.

Draco saw his father again two nights later when his mother and he were going to dinner. 

They were quietly waiting for Lucius, knowing that he was in the manor. He arrived but he was not alone. The boy he had been carrying the other night was standing in front of him and Severus was behind them.

Two things shocked Draco, first, the boy himself. He was gorgeous. Unruly hair that looked so soft, fastened in a ponytail, lightly tanned skin that shone in the candlelight, a slim form not hidden by his clothes. He was not very tall but it added to his charm. The most striking thing was his eyes, he had incredible jade green eyes, which at the moment were clouded by uneasiness. 

The next thing he noticed was the fact that his father had his hands on the teenager's shoulders in a protective way. He looked briefly at his son and wife but quickly returned his eyes to the young wizard. 

The teenager was looking around in awe until his gaze met those of Narcissa and Draco himself. He seemed to recognize Draco, which surprised him, as it was the first time he had seen the other boy. 

Then, Lucius presented him as Harry Potter and said he was going to live with them from now on. Draco saw the young boy extend his hand and make a gesture of politeness but he could not take the hand that was offered to him. He really did not know why, maybe he was still under the shock of his father's attitude towards him, or maybe it was the look of Severus that he had caught when the young boy had been presented that was disturbing him.

Lucius growled and then Draco learnt who the young boy was exactly. 

His brother, or at least his half brother. It meant that his father had been with another woman, which did not surprise Draco, but knowing that he had a brother that his father obviously loved as if he was the most perfect thing in the world, crushed him completely.

/_Now I know where his love went for all those years. It's evident he loves him in an incredible way. The way I wanted him to love me. This bastard stole what should have been mine! Even Severus! It is evident to someone like me who knows him like no one else that his feelings for this brat are not the same he has for me; it's so unfair! I'm the heir! I should be the one receiving all the attention and love, not some skinny, pitiful bastard! I hate him, hate him, hate him!/_

For at least two weeks, those thoughts were the only one that came to his mind every time he saw Harry. But one day, he saw him crying in the gardens, all alone. He saw Severus approach him, and was amazed when Harry dried his eyes quickly before Severus reached him and he acted as if everything was fine.

That little scene made Draco think. Think about what Harry could be going through. Surprisingly enough for Draco, Harry was always polite and discreet. He also seemed embarrassed every time their father showed his blatant preference for him.

So, he began to think about love, about caring, about… everything. He had always known that his parents were not in love when they had married, so it was not surprising that his father had a lover. If he really loved her, wouldn't it be normal for him to adore the child of this woman? Wouldn't he represent their love in flesh?

Thinking harder and harder, Draco understood. If he was to love someone one day, really love that person, he knew he would just adore the child they would have together, because it would be the result of their love.

About Severus… It was the first time he had seen that look on his face. Something unreadable but so deep, so… intense. Draco knew he could never win his feelings like that. He preferred keeping his friendship instead of losing it because of love. 

Strange, wasn't it?

One night, he saw that Harry was upset. His father saw it too and tried to make him speak about it, but Harry kept saying it was nothing. When he went out, Draco followed him from a distance. He finally confronted him and decided to give their 'relationship' a new beginning.

He had finally accepted entering a new world.

*******

And so, they became friends.

Of course, it did not happen in one night. It took a little time; the day after their discussion, Harry arrived in the dining room rather unsure,

/_What if it was all a dream?/_ Harry thought.

Nevertheless, he greeted Draco and Narcissa as usual and was overwhelmed by joy when Draco returned his greeting with a warm smile. "Good morning, Harry. Sweet dreams?"

Harry nodded, his cheeks lightly pink.

Lucius, who had hugged his beloved son at his entrance in the room, could not believe his ears and eyes. His mouth hung open for a full minute making Harry chuckle.

Finally regaining control, Lucius took his seat and they began to eat their breakfast.

The second shock of the morning happened ten minutes later when Lucius, after offering some muffins to Harry, asked in a soft voice, " Do you want some too Draco?" Draco mirrored the expression Lucius showed not so long ago. Lucius sighed a little impatiently, making Draco stutter, 

"Y-y-yes Father. Thank you." and slightly blushing, he picked up a muffin from the plate his father was holding. At the same time he was screaming, /I'm twenty-one, for God's sake! Not five! Why am I blushing? Why, why?! And the stuttering? Oh, my God, I'm so stupid!/ 

Harry was trying hard not to laugh too loud, and so was almost choking on his muffin. However, he could not stop his giggle and both Draco and Lucius looked at him,  their right eyebrows arched elegantly in a matching movement.

/_Where is my camera when I need it?/_ Harry thought hiding his face behind the curtain of his hair.

Narcissa was the only one who showed no emotion. Not that she had none; she was just hiding it. In fact, she was disgusted with Harry's behaviour and was fuming towards Draco, considering his actions as a betrayal.  

~*~*~*~*~*~* 

Draco and Harry began to meet every night at the same place they started their new relationship. 

At first, there was awkward silence between them, not knowing what to talk about, so they began with the universal subject for boys and men, Quidditch. They talked about their favourite teams which provoked some heated arguments. Then they spoke about their lives, 

what had happened that day.

They were strangers for each other but they slowly opened their hearts, creating a bond they had always wished for, something like brotherhood.

One night, Draco asked Harry to tell him things about his mother, what she looked like, how she acted. Harry was first reluctant but Draco managed to convince him he really wanted to know.

Harry decided to make a new step there, he invited Draco in his bedroom and showed him the pictures he had.

Draco too felt the new step they had made and was very… well, touched.

After that, Harry felt more daring and finally asked the question he wanted to ask for a long time now,

"How did you meet Severus?"

"You mean Yus?"

"Excuse me, who?"

"You asked me how I met Yus didn't you?"

Harry began to giggle. "You call Severus 'Yus'? Where does that come from?"

"Well…"

~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*

A five-year-old Draco was playing with his construction set, a magical one, of course, which could change colours and forms, in the huge playroom stuffed with lots and lots of toys. The door opened and a ten-year-old Severus Snape entered with Lucius.

Draco leapt on his feet, his father was here! Surely it meant that he was going to play with him? But instead of that, Lucius introduced the young boy, and told his son to be nice with him, before leaving again.

Draco was very disappointed but still happy that his father had brought him a new friend. Not being the shy one, he asked the boy to repeat his name, as he had not got it well.

"My name is Severus Snape," the little boy said his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Seveyus?" Draco repeated.

"No. Se-Ve-Rus"

"Sevyus"

"Rus."

"Yus."

"Rus!"

"Yus!"

"I said 'RUS!'"

"That's what I'm saying! 'Yus!'"

"Fine! I give up. Just call me that." Severus grunted. But his bad mood disappeared quickly when little Draco proposed that they play together.

~*~*~* End Flashback~*~*~*

 At the end of the [memory], Harry was laughing madly and Draco was smirking. 

"I-I c-can't believe it! Yus! Yus! Ahahahahahahahahah!!!"

After that, they acted more and more comfortably towards one another. 

****

One day, Draco heard a discussion between his father and his… friend?... that shocked him,

"Dad, really, couldn't you be nicer with Draco? He's doing all he can to please you and you never say anything to praise him," Harry said his voice angry.

"He doesn't need that. And I'm making an effort to treat him well." Lucius replied calmly.

"Greeting him in the morning and the evening and asking him if he wants more to eat during meals is not exactly what one would call 'making an effort to treat him well'. This is normal behaviour for any human being, dad! And I would like you to stop being so nice with me when you act like that with him. Please, Draco really is a good person. And even if he doesn't say it, I know he's still jealous of the way you act with me. I don't want him to be angry with me, and don't say you'll not allow him to be angry with me; he has every right to be. So?"

"Okay, okay. I'll be nicer from now, I promise you." Lucius answered defeated.

"You are the best dad!" Harry said jumping into his father's arms.

"You're welcome sweet pea," his father murmured.

"Dad!" Harry said indignantly.

It was the last thing Draco heard before retreating to his rooms. Should he be angry or thankful? He did not know. He did not want Harry's pity, but he realized that it was not pity, rather concern and caring, and it made his heart melt. 

***

One evening, Harry went to their little meeting only to find that Draco was not there. He waited for him but he did not show up.

Worried, he waited for the next morning to speak to him at breakfast, but he did not show up then, either. By the evening, seeing that he was not at dinner, he began to be afraid that something had happened and no one had told him.

Anyway, he went to their meeting place and there he saw him sitting on the floor of the balcony, knees under his chin and eyes closed.

"Draco?" he asked softly. 

No answer.

"Draco?" he repeated, and waited. He sat next to him and stared at the sky.

Finally, Draco moved and his head landed on Harry's shoulder.

"It's mother," he murmured.

Harry said nothing.

"She's… upset by what's happening between us. She said I was betraying her. That she didn't deserve to be treated like that. That she was the only one to truly love me and care about me. It made me angry and we began to yell. I told her that I was not betraying her, that you really cared for me, as well as Severus. Deep inside, though, I have the feeling that I'm betraying her, too. You know, she really loves me. She always has. She could have rejected me. After 

all, she had done her job by producing an heir of the Malfoy family, but she never left me."

"Do you want to stop seeing me? I will understand you know. And I think that you should do everything to keep your mother's love. It's okay. I'll be here for you anyway," Harry answered truthfully, and with sadness.

"Will you?" Draco asked in a soft voice.

"Of course I will," and then, Harry found himself hugged tightly into the arms of his friend.

"Thank you, Sweetie," Draco said, his voice low and thick with emotion.

Harry could not believe it. Draco had called him the name his mother used to! All he could say was, "You're welcome, brother of mine."

They hugged for quite a long time. When they detached from one another, their eyes were a little red. They smiled to each other and Harry said, "Do you know you've used the pet name my mother used to call me."

"Really? Did it upset you?" Draco asked worried.

"No, no! I loved it! I wouldn't mind if you continue to do so, when you feel like it."

"Okay then, you are my sweet little bro from now on."

"And you are my incredible big bro!" They both chuckled and made their way inside.  

***

The relationship between Draco and his mother eventually smoothed a little. She finally accepted his friendship with Harry and the two of them acted more and more like brothers, arguing over stupid things, talking for hours about nothing; they even started playing Quidditch together. Draco was really amazed by his brother's skills.

Days and weeks passed and it was already Christmas. The first Christmas Harry would spend without his mother and in his new family. 

His relationship with Severus was still neutral, bordering on cold, but he kept up hope that he would manage to make him change his mind.

Christmas Eve was spent with family; Harry met Narcissa's parents and the other members of the Malfoy family. He felt nervous during the whole party, even though Draco was doing his best to make him feel at ease, because his father, having to keep his cold mask for the family, could not do it himself. Sirius was there, too, being his godfather, and he also did his best to make the party an enjoyable one for Harry.

On Christmas day, he received a lot of presents, but those that counted the most for him were of course the ones from his father, Draco, Sirius and Severus; at least he hoped Severus would offer him something that year, too. 

He was not disappointed. Sirius gave him a book entitled, 'Pranks, The Best Way To Become The Greatest Prankster in the Universe'. Draco gave him a book on Quidditch that traced the history of the most famous players and the most famous manoeuvres, accompanied by extracts of all the games that had been played from the invention of Quidditch. Moreover, it would update itself after every new game.

His father gave him a piece of jewellery, it was a magical gold pendant. Inside was a picture of himself with his mother and his father James. He was the only one able to open it and every time he did, he could hear the song his mother loved the most, 'Come What May'. He cried 

the first time he opened it and hugged his father with all his strength.

But Severus did not give anything, or at least that was what he thought. When he returned to his room, however, he found a package on his bed. There was no note but he was sure of who had put it there. It was a bracelet made of silver with emeralds set in it that formed a lightening bolt. Harry was amazed by its quality and delicacy. He immediately put it on his right wrist and felt a warm feeling wrap his whole body. It meant that the bracelet was under a spell and he decided to discover what it was.

Harry had offered a very well decorated hand mirror to Narcissa. She had thanked him with a small nod. To his father, he had decided to give a copy of the letter his mother had sent him the day after her death. When Lucius read it, he was in tears, too, and he had pulled his son into a tight hug that crushed the air out of his lungs. 

Draco had received a very rare book on magic, 'Dark Arts and White Magic, Do They Really Exist?' He had smiled when he opened it because it reminded him of one of their most heated arguments about magic, him being sure that white magic could never be as powerful as dark magic.

The gift he wanted to give to Severus was a very special one. And he wanted to give it to him himself; he hoped it would help him to make things better between them.

He went out of his room and knocked on Severus' door. He felt very nervous. He heard a faint 'Come in' and, holding all the courage he could sum up, he opened the door slowly.

It was the first time he had entered Severus' rooms. They were the same size as his, but the decorations were different, it was all green and silver. There were books everywhere and a cauldron was hanging in the fireplace. There were also a lot of shelves full of bottles containing various liquids and other things.  

The bed was near the fireplace, and Severus was currently sitting in a comfortable looking armchair near the windows, and seemed to be deep in thought. When Harry walked in, Severus looked up, and seeing him, stood up rather abruptly.

"Master Harry," He said in calm voice.

"Hey, Severus. Merry Christmas! I was worried when you didn't show up this morning. And I wanted to thank you and give you your present," Harry said softly.

"You did not have to do that, Master Harry," Severus replied.

"Please, just for now don't call me that. And I really wanted to give you my present." 

Severus said nothing and unwrapped his gift slowly. It was a picture frame. For a moment, he said nothing and Harry felt more and more nervous. He finally said, "If you don't like it, I understand, I…."

Before he could finish, he was enveloped in a fierce hug. Surprised, he hugged back anyway and put his head on Severus' shoulder. "So you like it?" he murmured.

"Yes, of course! How did you…?" Severus asked, his voice low and tight.

"Well, after dad told me how you met, I thought you would like to have a picture of your parents. It seemed to be the most appropriate gift to offer you." They disengaged themselves from their hug and Harry continued his explanation.

"So I went to the ministry and spent hours in the archives section, hoping to find something. And so, ta-daa!" Harry finished in a cheerful voice.

Severus looked at the picture again. The frame was made of silver; it was a heavy one with fine arabesque details on it. The picture itself represented a young couple in their thirties standing in a sunny garden with a little boy between them. They were all smiling happily and waving at the camera.

"Thank you, Harry. I really, really want to thank you. It's the best gift I've ever received." Severus' eyes were shinning with unshed tears.

"It's nothing, I would do anything to make you happy," Harry answered shyly. 

Unconsciously, their bodies got closer. Then their lips, acting by themselves, got nearer and nearer until they were almost touching. Their eyes began to close and… someone knocked at the door.

Severus' eyes opened in a flash and he took several steps back. Harry did not dare to look in his eyes and looked at the floor instead. Severus cleared his throat and said "Come in". 

Draco appeared in the doorframe. He looked at Severus then at Harry and finally asked, "Would you like me to come back later?"

"No, no, it's okay. I was leaving anyway." And with that, Harry went back to his room.

After a moment of silence, Draco asked, "Why didn't you stop him?"

"It's none of your business, Draco," Severus replied dryly.

"But you love him you stupid git! And he loves you, so why do you reject him?"

"Don't utter such stupidity, he does not love me. It's just some weird infatuation."

" You do realize that you haven't denied the fact that you love him?" Draco met only silence.

"Aahhh," he sighed. "I really don't understand you. Anyway, I came to give you your Christmas present." He put the gift on the edge of the bed and made his way to the door. Before leaving, he said, "Be careful Severus, by wanting to protect him you may lose your 

true love." Then he closed the door. 

Severus just stood where he was, his fingers lightly touching the picture that was still in his hands.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On New Year's Eve, the Malfoys had another party but this time they invited all their acquaintances. Harry had even been allowed to invite his friends.

Everything went quite well, even though some of the guests looked at Harry in a strange way from time to time. He did not notice it, though.

As he was on his way from the bathroom, he heard the voice of his father in one of the other rooms and he seemed to be talking to someone.

"Isn't he a bother? I mean, you hardly knew his mother at all," a voice said disdainfully. 

"Well, you know, I had to take him in because of the contract. I wish she had never helped me, the little Mudblood," his father answered coldly. 

He continued, "But she saved my life once and so I owed her. It would have been better for everyone if he had disappeared with her, then I wouldn't be burdened with him," and there was a lot of laughter that follow the last statement.

Harry was in shock. He was crying and did not notice it. Deep inside he knew it was all an act to prevent the others from discovering the truth. He knew his father was doing bad things with bad people. It was one of the things they had argued about when Harry had learnt the truth of his family.

But it hurt. It hurt so much! It was as if someone had punched him hard and kicked him repeatedly until he couldn't breathe normally. He put his hand on his mouth to stifle his sobs and ran toward the old room where he used to meet Draco. 

He closed the French window and let his sorrow overwhelm him. He cried and cried for what seemed like hours, sitting on the cold floor of the balcony, with his knees under his chin and his arms crossed around them. It began to snow, but he did not notice.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder; he turned his head and saw the worried face of his brother. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Harry couldn't answer, he just continued to cry softly.

Draco embraced him and rocked him back and force until Harry calmed down. Again, he asked what was wrong and Harry replied, "It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing to me, sweetie. I'm just concerned, please tell me," Draco murmured.

"It's that, that I heard dad talking to some people in the library, and he said that, that I was just a burden and that he wished I had died with mum…"

"WHAT?! Harry, you know he would never say that to you. It was just an act. He loves you, he really does, sweetie."

"I know, I know that, but it hurt so much to hear him talk like that, so coldly and so evilly. I'm sorry, I know I reacted in a silly way."

"No, it wasn't silly, I understand. Now, come inside, you're freezing out here."

They went to the party and Harry managed to enjoy the last part of it. Maybe was it because of the drinks he had. He took them because they were sweet and so believed it was just orange juice but in fact he drank one or two Whisky Sodas and Malibu Oranges. 

After all the guests went back to their own homes, Harry hugged and kissed his father and wished him a Happy New Year, without telling him about what he had heard earlier, and went to bed.

Draco had kept an eye on him after they'd returned to the party but Harry finally convinced him that he was okay.

In his room, Harry washed quickly and went straight to bed. He fell asleep but woke up an hour later because of a nightmare and he did not want to go back to sleep. Feeling still a little dizzy from the alcohol, although his brief slumber had helped him to digest most of it, he picked up his pillow and stood outside Severus' room. 

He knocked lightly, fully expecting that no one would answer but then the door opened wide and revealed a rather undressed Severus. He was only wearing a bathrobe over his boxers and his t-shirt, and he looked surprised.

/_Well, it's normal, after all, it must be near three in the morning and he must have been sleeping. I wonder, then, how he managed to hear the knock… Merlin, he looks so good in his boxers! And the t-shirt! Why doesn't he wear more of them? It clings to his body in such a way… Oh my…_/ Lost in his thoughts, Harry said nothing until Severus asked slowly,__

"Harry, what are you doing here? Is there something wrong?"

/_Woohoo__! He said my name! Maybe I should wake him in the middle of the night more often then_/ and then he said out loud,__

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Severus, but I wanted to know if I could sleep with you tonight." 

"Excuse me?" Severus asked, stunned.

"May I sleep with you tonight? I won't take a lot of space! I even brought my pillow with me, see?" Harry said showing the said pillow.

/ _Oh, my God, he only meant that he wanted to sleep near me. I'm such a pervert! I thought…_/

"Severus?"

"Yes? Oh, yes. Yes, of course! Come in." And he let Harry enter his room. 

They stayed on their feet looking at each other, Harry rather shyly, until Severus broke the silence and said, 

"Go on, take the bed, I'll sleep on the floor."

"No, please, no! The bed is wide enough for both of us. Please," and to be more effective, he used his puppy-dog eyes. Severus could do nothing but surrender.

"All right."

They climbed together into the bed, leaving a wide gap between them. Harry closed his eyes and decided to try to sleep again, but he could only remember the nightmare he'd just had. Tears began to flow and he tried to quieten his sobs, putting his fist in his mouth.

However, Severus heard him. Worried, he got closer to the young man and asked, 

"Are you okay?"

His only answer was a quiet sob. He put his hand on Harry's shoulder and made him turn over. What he saw crushed his heart. Harry was sobbing quietly but rather forcefully. Before he could stop himself, he embraced the boy tightly.

"Tell me what's wrong. Did you have a nightmare?" he asked in a low voice.

Harry nodded. Taking a shaky breathing he said, "I heard dad tonight; he was talking to some People, and he said that he would have been happier if I did not exist." Before Severus could say anything he continued.

"I know it's just an act but it hurt anyway. I already talked about it with Draco afterwards, but then I had this nightmare in which dad was saying to me directly that, that I was responsible for mum's death and that I should have died with her. That I should have died instead of her…"and he broke down into heart shattering sobs.

"Shhh, shhh… It was just a nightmare; your father would never think something like that. You know he would have gone mad if he had lost you too," Severus said in a soothing voice.

"But I feel so guilty! She died protecting me! If I hadn't been there, she would have survived!"

"What happened cannot be changed even if we want it fiercely. I'm sure she would not be happy to know that you feel guilty about her," Severus continued to soothe Harry, rubbing small circles on his back and murmuring comforting things in his ear. 

Harry's sobs lessened more and more until they completely stopped. Severus thought he had cried himself into sleep when he felt a hand landing on his chest. He froze but said nothing. 

The hand began to stroke him softly with light touches. He felt Harry's head come closer and before he could stop him, Harry's lips were on his. Shy, caressing, truly inexperienced lips. And, like the last time it had happened, Severus felt his control slip. He returned the kiss, pressing his lips eagerly to Harry's, then becoming more daring, he licked Harry's bottom lip, and nibbled it until the lips opened to let him in. 

His tongue slid inside and began to stroke Harry's in the most sensuous way. The moans he provoked aroused him more and more. Little by little, he moved himself on top of the younger wizard and settled between his legs. 

Suddenly, the lips moved away from his with a gasp; he opened his eyes and met the frightened ones of Harry. Realising what was happening, Severus tried to disengage himself, muttering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," but was stopped in his tracks when he felt a hand on his neck. Looking back into Harry's eyes, he still saw fear but also desire in them.

"No, please, don't go. It's not that I don't want it, it's just that you surprised me. I didn't… I haven't…" he began to babble, embarrassed.

"I shouldn't have done that, I mean, you are drunk, which is more than understandable after what you have had," Severus said rather sternly.

"I'm not drunk! If I were, I would have just jumped you when you opened the door. The alcohol just helps me in expressing my true feelings for you.

I love you Severus. I really do. It's not a silly crush. I've been in love with you for almost a year now. Mum knew about it and she wanted me to tell you," Harry finished in a low voice, his eyes fixed on Severus'.

The latter did not respond verbally. Instead, he lowered his head and seemed to be determined to ravish Harry's mouth completely. Harry's eyes widened and then closed in happiness. He felt Severus remove his t-shirt; his own hands opening his pyjama top, then he slid out of his pyjama bottoms. The only clothes left were their boxers.

"We won't go all the way, because even if you say that you are not drunk, I want to make your first time something for you to remember forever. But if you allow me, I'll do every thing to show you how much… I love you," Severus whispered against Harry's ear.

Harry shivered. "Yes," was his quiet reply.

Severus' lips were on his again. He was stroking, licking, sucking lazily, as if he could not detach himself from them. His hands were roaming over Harry's body, asif he were mapping it. They finally reached their goal. They stopped on Harry's hard cock, caressing him over his boxers. Harry whimpered and bit his lip.

Severus' mouth migrated to his neck, and his hands went under his boxers. He helped Harry slide out of them. He was now completely naked and felt embarrassed when he saw Severus looking at him with lustful eyes. He closed his eyes but heard Severus urging him to open 

them again.

"Don't close your eyes. I want to see what they look like when I make you reach ecstasy," he purred.

Harry moaned; he had the impression that he would never talk again. His skin was on fire, as were all his senses. He didn't want it to stop. 

"Sev… Sev… please…" he begged.

"Yes my love?"

"Make me yours," he whispered.

"Not tonight. But I'll do it soon. Now, just enjoy. It's a foretaste of what it will be like, sweetheart." And then, Severus' mouth closed over his again.

He moved toward Harry's earlobe and played with it, loving the way his young lover sounded while he was doing that. Then he slid his lips down, to the junction of his neck and shoulder and sucked lightly, alternating with bites.

His hands were fisting his lover's manhood and fondling his balls. Harry was now moaning continuously. Severus' head went lower; he reached one erect nipple and nibbled on it creating new sighs and pleas from the sweet mouth of his 'master'. He gave the same treatment to its twin. He went lower again, tracing a path with his tongue. He licked Harry's navel and bit it lightly too.

Eventually, he was able to take a close look at his prize, with hungry eyes. He raised his face to make sure that Harry was looking at him and began to work on it. 

First, a small lick, then a longer one. He suddenly neglected the glistening treat in front of him and attacked what was lower. He rolled them in his mouth and licked them thoughtfully. He went back to his prize and, wanting to keep up his teasing, he took the head between his hot and swollen lips. He sucked lightly on it and took more and more of his lover into his mouth. He found a rhythm that seemed to please Harry, not too quick and not too slow. But he could not stay at this pace for long and bobbed his head up and down more and more frantically. 

Harry was moaning and whimpering more and more loudly. " Sev…" seemed to be the only word he could produce. His hands were clutching the sheets in a death grip.

When Severus finally hummed his pleasure, Harry came in an explosive way.

Severus took all of his lover's seed hungrily. He licked him clean, and asked in a seductive voice, "Do you want to taste yourself?"

Harry could do nothing but nod. It felt strange, a little gross at first, but remembering what that incredible mouth had done to him made him hot again. Severus shifted a little to have a better access to Harry's mouth, and it was then that Harry realized how hard Severus was.

He managed to pull his lips out of the kiss, and with laboured breathing, asked shyly, "Do 

you want me to… do the same thing to you?"

"Do you want to?" Severus asked, his voice hoarse.

"I… I'm not sure I'm ready to do that, but I want to please you. Show me what I can do."

"Just do what you want to, my love." And Severus went back to the kissing. He seemed to like it a lot, as well as marking Harry's smooth skin with bites.

Harry's hands slid towards Severus' hardness by themselves. When they reached it, he was 

amazed, it was so huge! He couldn't close his hand around it. He smiled when he felt his lover shiver under his touch. His other hand started fondling Severus' sacs while the other slid lazily from top to bottom on the shaft, rubbing the head with his thumb from time to time.

Severus, sucking on his neck again, began to thrust into the tunnel Harry had created. Suddenly he stopped and, looking straight into the eyes of his expectant lover, he asked, 

"Would you let me show you something else while you are pleasuring me?"

"Yes. Oh, yes!" was the enthusiastic reply. Severus took his wand from the night table and mumbled, "Accio lubricant."

Harry stiffened a bit but Severus  reassured him, "Remember, I'll do nothing you don't want me to and we won't go all the way tonight, okay? Just tell me if you are uncomfortable."

Harry slowly nodded and resumed his activities. He loved the sounds he could cause; it was so intoxicating to have the power to do that! Just hearing his lover made him hard again.

Harry felt a slick finger hovering at his entrance. He shifted a little but did not stop his ministrations. The finger stroked him, and alternated with massaging his arse cheeks. The other hand was cupping his neck and brought him to another soul-searing kiss.

They were both moaning when the finger became more daring and penetrated Harry's tightness. Harry broke the kiss and moved his head to one side mewling softly in pain. "Shhh… do you want me to stop?" Severus asked sweetly.

"No, it just feels so big, and it hurts a little. Is that normal?" Harry whispered.

"Yes love; it always hurts a little at the beginning. Do you want me to stop?" Severus repeated, concerned.

Harry just entangled his hand in his lover's hair pushing him down for another kiss before returning to stroke him.

The finger slid in and out at the same pace as the strokes Harry was administering to Severus, while the latter's lips bit and licked all he could reach. He placed butterfly kisses on Harry's jaw, sucked at the same spot on his neck, making the mark grow larger and larger each time he did it. He licked and bit the other side of his neck too. As a potions Master, he liked it when things were well balanced, after all.

The questing finger suddenly withdrew but before Harry could protest, it came back with a friend. Harry had to bite his lip to stop his whimpers of pain. Severus stopped until he felt Harry relaxed, and he began to scissor his fingers in his hole. His other hand landed on Harry's inner thigh and stroked it lightly. 

Then, something happened, Severus found Harry's magic spot. Harry broke the kiss again and threw his head back on the pillow.

"Oh My God!! Do that again please!" he begged. "What was that?" he asked incredulously.  

Severus chuckled, "Master Harry, let me introduce you to your prostate. Do you want me to continue?"

"Oh please!"

They were now acting more like wild animals, Harry fisting Severus faster and faster, and rubbing the head over and over again while Severus was stroking his sweet spot repeatedly, until Harry exploded with another incredible climax.

This time his climax provoked his lover's completion as well. They were both panting afterwards. Harry brought his seed-covered hand to his mouth and licked it tentatively. He proceeded to suck it, wanting to know exactly what it tasted like, when his hand was pushed 

away and his lips were ravished ferociously again. 

Seeing Harry lick his seed- covered hand was one of the most erotic things Severus had seen up to then. He could not stop himself from ravishing the owner of the teasing tongue. When the need for air became unbearable, they parted slightly allowing Severus to cast a cleaning spell on them both.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, hands and legs intermingled, Harry's head resting on Severus' shoulder, and his lover's hand on the small of his back. 


	7. Discoveries

" " : talking  
  
_/… / : thinking****_

**__**

**_WARNING: READ THIS BEFORE THE CHAPTER!!!_**

From now on there will be bits of **incest** and attempts to **non consensual sex** (=almost rape). You've been warned, so **DO NOT READ** if they make you uncomfortable and **DO NOT FLAME ME**, understood?

Now that I've ruined the surprise, you can keep on reading.

 Chapter 7: Discoveries

When Severus woke up, it was still dark outside. His eyes opened at 5:30 sharp like every morning since he had actively worked for Lucius. It gave him time for sword and martial arts training.

He also liked to wake up in a very quiet house. It allowed him to think, to dream for a little while before the reality of the world came back to him full force.

However, unlike every morning, Severus was not alone in his bed. It was a real break in his habits as he never brought his lovers to the manor. He liked to keep things in their places, never mix pleasure and work. He didn't want his lovers to know he worked for the Malfoy family either.

So, curious, he turned his gaze towards the warm body cuddled against him. First, his eyes widened in shock when he saw who it was. Then he remembered what had happened not so long before. He and Harry… they had… no, he had… no, THEY had…. Shared an intimate moment, to put it neutrally.

Severus couldn't stop his eyes from studying the face of his sleeping… lover? Master? Oh crap! He had broken the very rule he had sworn to himself he would never break.

He had showed his feelings to his master. 'Master' not only because he was Lucius' son, but 'master' because Harry was the first - and undoubtedly the last - one who had caught his heart completely. The only one who had reached his soul and settled in.

How could Severus have not let Harry enter his room last night? He looked so sad, so lost; his eyes were blazing, pleading him to let him in.

When he had opened his door, he hadn't expected to see what he saw. A beautiful teenager wearing his wrinkled pyjamas, hair wild and hugging his pillow dearly. Severus had been speechless. He thought he was dreaming again. It wouldn't have been the first time he dreamt of his young protégé. 

Harry literally haunted his dreams, his thoughts. There wasn't a day when Severus did not think about him.

What happened after… Severus could not summon the will to be ashamed of himself. What they had done was beautiful. Perfect. Like the boy currently sleeping in his arms.

The said boy mumbled in his sleep and tried to cuddle even closer to Severus. He looked so peaceful and so damn cute. However, coming back to reality, Severus disengaged himself from the human limpet who was in his embrace, but by doing so, he woke him up.

"Umhummm… Sev? Where are you going?" Harry asked softly.

"I would like to go to the bathroom, if it doesn't disturb you," Severus replied a little sarcastically. But all the sarcasm and cold emotional wall he was trying to raise again crumbled like cake when he heard his young lover say, "Come back soon, I'll be cold without you by my side."

It was said in such an earnest tone that Severus barely refrained from running to the bathroom as if he were training for the sprint in the Olympic Games. 

Just to prove to himself that he had self control left, he went there and came back at a very steady and measured pace. He really did not want to let Harry know the incredible power he had over him, even if maybe, it was a little late for that, with what had happened just before…

He came back to bed and once again, and Harry snuggled against him, burying his head under Severus' chin, his arms encircling him. However, very reluctantly, Severus disengaged himself from the embrace, making Harry groan with disappointment, and sat leaning back against the head of the bed.

"Harry, you have to go back to your room," Severus said quietly.

"Why? I'm really comfy just now. I don't want to leave you," Harry said, raising his head and looking straight into the eyes of the older wizard.

"Harry, you can't be seen in my room, in my bed more precisely. Besides… you shouldn't be here in the first place." Severus said the last line with his eyes looking away from Harry. "I shouldn't have let you come in. I shouldn't have let you lie in my bed with me. What we, no, what I did was wrong." It pained him to say the exact contrary of what he was thinking but it was for the best for Harry. At least, he was trying to convince himself about it.

He could feel Harry's body shaking next to him. He couldn't summon the courage to look at his lover again because he knew that if he did, he couldn't refrain himself from hugging and kissing him desperately.

"Are you saying that you're ashamed? Are you saying that you regret what happened?" Harry whispered looking at the figure sitting next to him.

"Yes," Severus answered firmly. But inside his head he was screaming /No!/ over and over.

"I… I can't believe it. I know you're lying, I know you are!! Last night you said you loved me! And I could see it in your eyes! Why are you doing this to me? Do you like making me suffer? If this is because of that stupid, 'me, master's son, and you, bloody stupid bodyguard', then stop it. Don't reject me again, don't do that to me again. Please!" Harry begged him, eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

Then he did something quite unexpected. He grabbed his lover's arm and said, roughly, "If what you just said was the truth, then say it again but this time, with your eyes looking into mine! Say it!"

Severus did as he said; he turned his head and plunged his onyx eyes into those fiery emerald ones.

 /_I can do this_/ he thought. /_I've lied so many times now, it won't be difficult. There was a time when I lied to save my life. It's almost the same situation here except it's for his own good. Come on! He is just a child! I've done worse things than lying! Oh, God, thinking about that makes me realize how filthy I am next to his innocence…_/ 

Severus was summoning all the strength he had to lie to the…  boy? Man? He loved. But he helplessly drowned in his eyes. There was such honesty, such power, such pain in them right at the moment. He felt his resolution to lie to Harry melt like butter.

/_How does he do this? I can't resist him anymore. After last night when I saw his face alight with his ecstasy, ecstasy caused by me… What  am I going to do?_/ was Severus' final thought before his answer.__

"You are right. I have no shame, no regrets, absolutely no regrets about what happened last night," he finally admitted. "But I've already told you. You are a Malfoy. The Malfoy family marries only purebloods from respectable families, that is to say, families as rich as they are. Moreover, I'm not worthy of you. You said that you loved me but you don't know me completely. You don't know the real me."

"Then let me see the 'real' you. I know I love you and I will always love you whatever you have done in the past," Harry said eagerly. "What do you think I'm made of? Glass? I know that you must have done things you wish you hadn't, but that's in the past," he said, looking straight into the eyes of his lover. "From now, just focus on the present and the future. Focus on us and the love I know we share. Please." With these last words, Harry threw himself into Severus' arms and hugged him tightly.

At first, Severus didn't respond to the embrace but he finally gave up and mirrored Harry's gesture, hugging him just as tightly.

When they finally released each other, Harry placed his face in the crook of Severus' neck and mumbled, "Can we go back to sleep now?"

Severus took Harry's face in his hands and kissed him lightly on the lips before answering, "No we can't. I have to do my training and you have to  go back to your room."

"But…"

"No 'but'. Don't be afraid. I'm not turning you away again. But you know that your father likes to wake you up himself from time to time and I have the feeling that he is going to do so today. I can't imagine what would happen if you were not in your bed when he came in." Severus physically shuddered.

Harry opened his mouth to argue, then closed it knowing that Severus was right. He was going to get up when he remembered that he was naked under the covers and blushed.

"Erm, Sev?" he asked shyly. "Could you, er, pass me my clothes please?"

Severus looked at him. He usually didn't like to be called by a nickname by his lovers, but Harry was the exception and he loved how he said it. Then, realizing what the young man had just said, he raised his right eyebrow and smirked.

"You do realize that during our argument I was naked, too, and that you said nothing?"

"Well, that was different! I was focusing on making you change your mind. And even if last night we did… what we did, I'm not ready yet to wander in front of you completely starkers, thank you very much!" and with that, he pulled the sheets more firmly against his smooth chest.

Severus chuckled lightly and gave him his pyjamas, his boxers having disappeared. 

As he was putting his clothes on, a question suddenly sprang in his mind, "Sev? About last night… hum, how is it that nobody heard anything? I mean," blushing he continued "it's not as if I was very quiet…"

Severus' eyes flashed with mirth and passion, and he answered, "There are silencing charms in my rooms as my training can be very noisy. That's why your father didn't run in here and kill me."

"Oh," was Harry's reply.

With one last tender kiss, he went back to his room and fell asleep again.   

~*~

Two hours later, Lucius knocked at the door of his beloved son's room. Getting no answer, he went in and found him in his bed, sleeping soundly. Lucius stopped and looked at him with warm eyes. /_He looks like an angel like that…. The only light in my life now… Lily…_/

He sat on the bed, his hand caressing his son's hair. He could only see the features of his 'wife' on his face, her nose, her chin, so proud, so defiant. Most remarkable of all, he had her beautiful eyes, so green, so brilliant. In fact, his eyes were even more vibrant than hers. Looking into Harry's eyes, into his purity, helped Lucius to wash away the dirt he felt doing his other job, and yet at the same time made him feel guilty. It had been the same thing with Lily. They were, and would always be, the only ones to bring out his light side.

He came out of his thoughts and called his son's name softly, his hand still stroking his hair. When he had woken up this morning, he had felt the need to hug Harry with all his heart. Last night… He had said such horrible things! He was glad Harry had not heard them. Remembering what he had had to say to keep his façade intact, he felt sick and wanted to show to the whole world how much he loved Harry, and that he would kill anyone who would hurt him.

Finally, Harry's eyes fluttered open. "Whazzat?" he asked, still half asleep.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! It's time to take breakfast," his father said softly.

"I'm on holiday! Let me sleep a little more," he said and turned his head to resume his sleep.

"Oh come on! Your dad here is starving for a little show of affection. Please?" Lucius said, his eyes making a perfect and well-used imitation of those of a sad puppy.

Harry could only sigh at his father's antics. He did not need to open his eyes to know what his father was doing. He mumbled about crazy fathers who had no respect for their children's sleep and sat up in his bed. He looked at him and smiled, his arms opened. Lucius hugged him tightly. He needed to remind his little boy how much he loved him. 

In fact, Harry too felt the need to be held by his father after the words of the night before. 

They stayed in that position for some time, with Harry's head resting on Lucius' shoulder, until he finally said, "You know, now that I'm awake, I'm suddenly hungry."

Lucius relaxed the embrace and said, "Go get changed, I'll wait for you." But as they were getting off the bed, he noticed a small mark on Harry's neck. "What's that?"

"What's what?"

"That mark on your neck."

Harry visibly paled. He had completely forgotten about the hickeys Sev gave him last night!

"Oh, it's nothing," Harry said in what he hoped was a casual voice.

"You sure? Strange, it looks like a small-" Lucius abruptly stopped in mid sentence, realisation dawning in his mind. "OH. MY. GOD."

_/Shit!/_ was the only thing Harry could think.

"Who, who did this?" His father's voice was as cold as ice.

"No one did. It's not…" Harry tried to deny.

"Harry, do NOT lie to me. Who is it?"

"No really, it's nothing! I was a little drunk and he…" Harry was still trying to lie. 

"HE?! DRUNK?! THE BASTARD TRIED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY BABY?!" Lucius roared.

/_Oh, Sweet Merlin! Help!/_ Harry desperately thought. "He did NOT try to take advantage of me. He loves me and I love him!" /_Ooooops_/  

"You…he… love?…" Lucius was shocked beyond words. "You had feelings of love for someone and didn't tell me?" his face now showed hurt.

"I told mum… and she wanted to tell you, but I asked her not to because I knew you would make huge fuss about it." Harry replied, looking at his hands.

"Fuss? FUSS?! I do not fuss!"

"So what are you doing right now?"

"I'm… I'm showing the legitimate concern any parent would show if he discovered that his son had a boyfriend and didn't find it relevant to tell him! Who is it?!"

"I'm not ready to say. I didn't want to hide it from you, but I was afraid about your reaction when you discovered I preferred boys. And I don't want you to hurt him or threaten him, which is what you're going to do if I say his name. Please, please don't be mad. Don't force me to tell you. I want keep it for myself a little longer. I swear I never wanted to hurt you. Please believe me," Harry said looking straight into his father's eyes. His cheeks were flushed, his lips trembling and in all he was looking miserable.  

Lucius stayed silent and looked at his son intently. Love, LOVE? His little boy was in love? With a man? He had to know who it was. He had to…! But looking into Harry's eyes, he saw how deep his feelings were. If he were to make him choose between him and the other, he was not sure what his response would be. /_Good god, he really is in love. This eagerness, this force… the same fire I felt for my sweet Lily…_/__

Lucius finally broke the silence. "I'm not mad at you. And I'll respect your request. But you'll tell me right?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay, then. I have just one question, is he of your age?"

"No."

"Is he a lot older?"

"There is more than five years between us."

/_Cool, keep cool_./ "Do I know him?"

"Yes, and please, no more questions."

"All right, go dress, I'll wait for you in the hall." And then Lucius exited the room.

Harry slowly went to the bathroom. He took off his clothes and was startled when the mirror whistled and said, "I see someone had a great time recently!"

"Oh shut up!" Harry said and entered the shower. As he was washing himself, he thought about what had just happened. /_Well, it didn't go too badly, I think. Okay, it wasn't the way I wanted him to find out, but now at least he knows…/_

When he finally left his room, his father was talking with Sev, his back leaning against the wall. He looked at him and smiled as he used to. "Hungry sweetpea?"

Harry was so relieved to see his father normal again that he said nothing about the pet name and smiled back. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sev looking at them both with gravity.

They reached the dining room silently. Draco was already at his place as usual, and so was Narcissa. When Harry,  Lucius and Severus came in, Draco looked at them and  raised one eyebrow. He could feel some tension coming from them all, even if they all looked calm.

They sat down and began eating, Lucius focusing on Harry as he did everyday, but this time, it was worse than usual. The most surprising thing was the fact that Harry was not embarrassed by this behaviour. /He almost seems… relieved?/ Draco thought. /Hm, I'll have to question Harry about that./

In the middle of the breakfast, a man came in and, approaching Lucius, he whispered something in his ear. Lucius' face darkened a bit and, apologizing mainly to Harry but also to the rest of his family, he stood up and went out. 

Harry was surprised; his father never left during a meal because it was the rare moment when he could see Harry and act as he wanted to towards him without having to pretend he disliked him. 

A little worried, he turned towards Draco and asked,

"Where do you think he's gone?"

"Well, I think it has to do with the 'other' job he has, you know, the one he is not supposed to have in public."

"Oh, that one." Harry was quiet for some time afterwards. But when they finished their meal, he approached Draco and said, "Um, Draco? Could I ask you something in private?"

His brother looked at him quizzically, "Of course you can. Let's go to my room then."

Draco's bedroom was in another wing of the manor, the one reserved for the family. Harry's was in a special wing, magically created especially for him. Draco's room was almost as large as Harry's. It was well lit too, with many windows. The main colours were silver and deep blue. It was also very clean, not that Harry's room was dirty, but it was always a little messy.  Draco's room was completely in order, which always impressed Harry.

They settled down on Draco's bed to be more comfortable. There was a little moment of 

silence before Harry decided to talk. 

"Well, Draco, there's something really important I've wanted to ask you for quite some time now. It's about dad's 'other' activities."

"Ah."

"Yeah. I asked him several times to tell me what they are exactly but he always refused to answer me. I want to know. I need to know. Am I not a Malfoy too? It's part of my family history and I have the right to know. And that way, I'll know what's true and what's not when other people talk about our family."

Draco stayed silent. He didn't  know what to do. He knew his father didn't want Harry to know because he was afraid it would upset him - Draco was sure of that too - but what Harry had said was true, too. As a Malfoy, he had the right to know what exactly his family was like.

Several minutes later, Draco came to a decision. 

"Okay, I'll tell you everything." He sat more comfortably and began. "Well, the Malfoys come from France. They were humble people until they decided to go to England and try to improve their lives. One day, André Malfoy, the elder son of the family fell in love with the daughter of some very wealthy man. He asked for her hand but he was flatly rejected by her father who did not judge him worthy of her - that is to say that he was not wealthy enough for him. 

"André was so angry and humiliated that he decided to show the man how rich he could become. And so he started stealing valuable things, jewellery, paintings, money, Dark Arts artefacts and, little by little, he became the master of the Dark Market. His business was so profitable that his fortune exceeded the other man's. Of course, by then, the man offered his daughter's hand and André accepted. He was very happy until the day he discovered his wife was cheating on him. He was so furious that he decided to sell her to a brothel. Later, he became the owner of that brothel.

"The drugs trafficking began many years later; it was his great-grandson who had the idea to develop the wizarding market.

"Since then, the Malfoys control the major branches of the underworld."

By the end of his story, Harry was staring at him, his face completely blank.

After several minutes without a word Draco became nervous. "Are you okay?"

Harry said nothing and then, "And so, when dad thinks you're ready, you'll take his place? At the head of the organization?"

"Well, of course! It's my inheritance, as well as the Malfoy fortune. And I will at the same time have some respectable work as a façade." Draco answered, shrugging.

"And you are okay with it? You are not… against it?" Harry asked calmly.

"Why should I be against it? It's business, nothing more."

At those last words Harry abruptly stood up and exploded, "IT'S BUSINESS? NOTHING 

MORE? How can you say that! Dad and you and the entire Malfoy family are using  people's weakness and darkness to increase your wealth and you are OK with it? How can you be? How can he? It's… It's low, it's disgusting, it's unforgivable!"

Draco could not understand his reaction, "It's just the way Malfoys are!"

Harry was seething with anger, "You are… you are…!" But he did not finish his sentence. He went to the door, which opened by itself, and went back to his room. The door closed with such force behind him that the walls shook and the windows cracked. It was due to another burst of raw magic that Harry hadn't even noticed.

But Draco had and he was completely flabbergasted. Harry was so powerful!

But for just now, that was not the most important thing; Harry was upset, really, really upset. No in fact, he was completely mad at all the Malfoys in general and at him and his father in particular.

He did not even try to run after him, it wouldn't change things. Harry was too mad to listen to him and in fact, Draco still could not understand his reaction.

~*~

Harry was seeing red. How could they? How could they? It wasn't surprising then that his father had always refused to tell him the truth.

So far, if he had got it right, the Malfoys were a family controlling the illegal traffic of Dark Arts artefacts, brothels and drugs traffic. And all their fortune came from it. And he was connected to them. His mother had been connected to them and had said nothing. So why should he react badly?

Because it was revolting to him. Because he was a kind boy who suffered for those who suffered. And because his father and mother had taught him the difference between right and wrong.

His father. 

James Potter. 

Lucius Malfoy. 

The same person. The same mind.

It meant that he knew that what he was doing was wrong, but kept on with it.

Harry was so absorbed in his thoughts that he passed in front of Severus without noticing him, or the fact that he was now followed by him. He arrived at his room and once again the door opened by itself. He entered and so did Severus. When he finally settled down on his couch 

and was beginning to calm a little Severus startled him by speaking out loud. 

"What's wrong?"

"I've just been talking with Draco. About dad's other job. You know, the one he never talked about with me. The one you are helping him with." Harry said accusingly.

Severus said nothing. Anyway, what could he had say except "ah"? He had always known that Harry's reaction about the other side of his father and himself wouldn't be pleasant. That was why Lucius had never wanted for his son to discover it.

"I guess by the look on your face that you do not agree with it." Severus said neutrally.

"Of course I don't! The Malfoys are making money from people's envy, enslavement and fears! How can you do this?" Harry exclaimed.

"Do you think I had a choice in this?" Severus answered coldly.

"Are you saying that dad forced you?" Harry's voice was incredulous.

"He had helped me when I was in misery. He gave me a place to call home and an education to help me later. I'm in debt with him and I will never falter in my gratitude towards him. Whatever he asks me to do."

"I can't… I can't believe it. Get out of my room; get out of my sight!" and with that, Severus was magically thrown out.

Returning to his room, he sat down on his chair in front of his desk. Putting his face in his hands, he thought, /_I knew it, I knew it. He hates me now. He must be thinking so low of me. And he is right. It hurts. It hurts so much! His look, as if I was less than an animal. Why did I fall in love with him? For the first time in my life my heart aches, and it's caused by a sixteen-year-old boy! Ha! It's so pathetic! Oh my love…_/

Meanwhile, Harry was pacing in his room unable to calm himself.

/_Oh, my god, what have I done, what have I said? How could I say those things after what I swore to him this morning? 'I love you and will always love you, whatever you have done in the past'? I'm such a liar! I thought I was prepared, that I could take anything, but I was wrong. Oh, Sev, I'm so sorry. I knew that you weren't happy with what you have done but I was so angry… Imagining the truth and knowing the truth are completely different things for sure! What am I going to do now? Oh, mum… I need someone to talk to…_/__

The rest of the morning, Harry kept raging against the Malfoys and himself. He felt lost, and betrayed by his father and brother. He knew it was stupid to feel so, and that it was against common sense but he could not block it.

Lunch time came quickly and saw an icily cold Harry coming to the table. Severus had said nothing when he had escorted him and Harry had made no attempt to apologize.

Lucius had come back for lunch and was surprised and a little worried when he saw his beloved son in such a mood. What the Hell had happened? He tried to talk to him but obtained no answer. In the end he couldn't take it anymore, "Harry please tell me! What happened this morning? Why are you so upset?"

"It's nothing, father, nothing at all." Was Harry's cool reply.

Lucius was dumbstruck. Harry had just called him 'father'! Whatever had happened must have been big. Frantic now, he kept questioning, until Harry could not stop himself.

"You really want to know? Really? Well, I'll tell you, then. I asked Draco to tell me what your 'other' activities are, and he did so."

Lucius' eyes turned towards his elder son, blazing with anger.

"Don't you dare blame him for what he said!" Harry shouted. "I deserved to know, since you wouldn't tell me yourself. And I understand now why you didn't want to tell me; do you still want to know what my problem is?" Not giving his father time to answer he continued,

"My problem is that my father is doing things that repulse me; my problem is that my father uses people's darkness to make money; my problem is that I see him as a disgusting man, unworthy of the love he received from my mother and I don't want to see him anymore!!" With this last blast, Harry abruptly stood up and ran to his room without looking back.

Arriving in his room, he resumed his mad pacing. /I need to get away from here, I need to get the fuck away from this place!/  His eyes landed on the fireplace and an idea appeared in his mind. His father had given him a pot of Floo Powder in case he needed to get to another place suddenly.

Without hesitation he took a handful of it and threw it into the fire shouting, "Diagon Alley!"

As he was vanishing he saw his father, Draco and Severus bursting in the room. "Too late," he whispered grimly at them before vanishing.

~*~

Harry landed in the Floo travelling point situated at the entrance of Diagon Alley. His hair was wild and he was covered with soot but he didn't care. He started wandering in the streets, aiming for nowhere in particular. Unconsciously, his feet brought him to the entrance to Knockturn Alley. He paused there and thought. 

/_What am I going to do now? I'm sure dad has already sent everyone in the manor to come and collect me. If enter here, I will gain a little more time for solitude. And maybe I'll be able to see what is so fascinating about the Dark Arts and the underworld…_/__

He slowly resumed his walk and decisively entered Knockturn Alley. He was very aware of the looks he was receiving from the people who passed near him, but he did his best to ignore them. He soon arrived in front of a large building that looked like a small mansion. There was a sign on the front door saying, 'The Light of Darkness'. There were a lot of windows, but all the curtains were drawn so it was impossible to look inside. It looked like a very rich place with fine sculptures engraved on the walls. And the colours set the building apart from the others with its deep purple and golden touches.

Harry stood where he was a moment. He could feel something familiar about this house but he couldn't work out what. Unknown by him, he was being observed by the owner of the house.

/_Hm__… very beautiful… I'm sure under that all the soot lies a piece of art. If I can manage to make him mine, he will become the jewel of my collection_./ __

The stranger decided to reveal himself. "Hello dear boy. What are you doing here?"

Harry turned towards him, startled.

"Excuse me? I didn't see you coming."

"I'm the owner of this house and I was wondering why you were standing here. You know, it's not a good place for a youngster like you. You could be harmed.

Why don't you come in? I'll give you something to drink and then take you back safely to Diagon Alley."

Harry knew he shouldn't trust someone met in this Alley but he felt suddenly very tired and thirsty. It was due to his earlier outburst. All the stress and anger he had felt had finally overwhelmed him. So he followed the other man without a word.

Before entering the man said, "By the way, my name is David, Livant David."

The inside of the building was incredibly and richly decorated. The main colours were white and gold; in the middle of the main hall was a huge chandelier made of crystal and silver. At the far end stood a marble staircase. There were doors a to Harry's right and left as he was walking behind the man. He could hear soft laughter and murmurs but couldn't make out any words.

They arrived in a large room. In there everything, from the walls to the furniture, had a deep purple colour laced with gold. In the middle of the room was a couch, next to it was a low table and next to that, facing the couch was an armchair. They were placed in front of a roaring fireplace.

"Sit down, sit down! Make yourself comfortable, you must be freezing. What's your name?" David asked.

Harry sat down on the couch and answered, "I'm Harry."

"Just Harry? Well… I won't blame you for not trusting a man you met in Knockturn Alley." He sat down himself in the armchair. He summoned a tea pot and two

cups with all the accoutrements for tea.

"Lemon? Milk? Sugar?"

"Lemon and sugar, please," Harry responded when David poured some tea in his cup.

"So, 'just' Harry, why are you here? There must be a good reason for you to have left your home with nothing more than the clothes you were wearing on a cold winter's afternoon," David said sitting back in his armchair.

Harry looked as his cup then looked at David who was drinking his tea, /well, if he's drinking the tea, it means that it's not drugged/ he thought, and then took a sip without a word. 

David continued, "You know, sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than to someone you know well."

Harry considered the sentence and finally spoke. "I've had an argument with my father; I discovered something I would have never imagined, even if I had suspicions. And I learnt it from another person, not my dad himself. I then discovered that the person I loved knew about it and had said nothing to me!" Harry said taking another sip of his tea.

"So, you must have felt betrayed, didn't you?"

"Yes." /_Oh yes, so betrayed…/_

"But Harry, haven't you considered this? That they had hid it from you because they knew how you would react and were afraid of losing you?"

 "That's no excuse! It was my right to know!  And maybe I would have been able to change things…" Harry whispered.

"Ah, well… so, you ran away from your home and arrived here; why?"

"I wanted to know what was so fascinating about the Dark. They are all in it, so why not me?" Harry poured himself another cup of tea. "It's really good tea. Where did you buy it?" he said completely out of nowhere.

"I cultivate it myself in my little garden. I'm very proud of it. So you like?" David asked casually.

"Yes, very much." Then, " Is it me or is it hotter in here?" Harry said fanning himself with his hand.

"It must be due to the contrast between the outside and inside temperature…"

"I don't feel…very…well…" Harry groaned before lying on the couch, unconscious.

"Or maybe it's due to the fact that your cup was soaked with some drug, inside and out, and so, when I pour any drink in it, the content mixes with it and you take drug in from the drink and through your fingers," David explained to the immobile form.

He stood up and went next to Harry. "Now, let's see you closer. First of all, the soot." He used a cleaning spell that revealed Harry's smooth and lightly tanned skin. "Hum… good; now let's see what lies under your clothes."

With a single word, Harry was completely naked. David could now see the thin, subtly muscular body, hairless chest, strong arms and endless legs. And that face! Long lashes, well shaped nose, full lips, broad forehead - bearing a scar looking like a… lightening bolt? Well, it would be a plus to his charm - and proud chin. Added to that,  pitch-black, soft, unruly hair, begging to be stroked. Moreover, after casting a useful spell, his suspicion was confirmed, this peace of art was untainted. It would make him more valuable.

Oh, yes! This young man was going to be a hell of an investment. His boss was going to be very proud of him.

After inspecting him from every angle, he proceeded to re-style the soon-to-be fallen angel. 

First, the trousers, black leather pants that perfectly shaped his incredible legs and hugged his backside. They were complemented by a dragon leather belt and  knee-length boots. Before putting on the shirt, David decided to add something on the boy's skin, something that would attract the others like moths to the fire. Hum… fire… yes, the teen was definitely an impetuous young man, who seemed as uncontrollable as fire, so…

David put the tip of his wand on the middle of the other's chest and after a small incantation, a magnificent tattoo appeared. It was a phoenix in all its glory, head raised high, wingsopened wide and its tail laid on the right side of Harry's throat. _/Hm… good job/_ David congratulated himself.

He then put on the shirt, a green silk shirt that appeared to be at least two sizes smaller than was decent. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and the first three buttons were loose which allowed people to see part of the tattoo.

He put the hair in a ponytail, leaving some locks at the front that framed Harry's face to perfection. And as a last touch, he pierced his left ear and put an upside down cross in it. He hadn't been able to remove the bracelet Harry was wearing, but it wasn't a big deal, its form and material added to the look.

Inspecting him one last time to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything, David snapped his fingers twice. Harry opened his eyes slowly. "My dear, how do you feel now?" the older wizard asked.

"I'm fine, I'm just so hot…" He let out needy moans and said, "Will you touch me? I need touch, please, help me…" his voice a low purr. He seemed so willing, perfect! David himself was tempted to 'help' the boy even if it was against his so called principles to touch one of his 'employees' when they were still pure.

Inside his mind, Harry was screaming, _/Somebody help me please! Sev! Draco! Dad! Please stop it! Make it stop! I don't want it!/_ but he couldn't stop himself from moaning and panting erotically. He bit his lips so hard to stop his moaning that he drew blood.__

"Tutt, tutt, tutt. Do not damage yourself, precious. Even if, considering it, it adds to your charm. Yes… bruised lips... it makes me want to lick them," David said leaning closer and closer to the young beauty sitting in front of him. His forefinger was running up and down on the right- hand side of Harry's neck, provoking more and more whimpers.

He was about to ravish his mouth when he felt the magical alarm he had set to warn him when people entered the house was activated.

He pulled back from his prey regretfully. "I'll be back soon, precious, and then…"

When he arrived in the hall, he stopped abruptly in his tracks. Right there, stood the son of his boss and one of his most efficient men, Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape.

"Master Draco! Mister Snape! What a surprise! What-"

"Shut up!" Severus said with a harsh voice. "Where is he?"

"Excuse me? Where is who?" David asked, puzzled.

"My little brother," Draco said his voice as cold as Severus'.

"Brother? I didn't know you had one Master Draco. Well, I'm sorry, but I didn't see him." It was true, no one had come in saying he was a Malfoy. 

"Don't lie. We know he is here, the charm put on his bracelet led us to this place." Severus said, his eyes colder and colder by every minutes passing.

"Bracelet?" David repeated, then froze, realisation dawning.

"Ha… Harry's brace…."

"Don't you dare say his name, you bastard! He is 'Master Harry' for you!" Draco said violently.

"Oh Merlin…. He is your brother?"

"Very good deduction!" Draco said sarcastically. 

"Where is he?" Severus asked for the second time.

"He is in my room…" David said shivering.

"Master Draco, go to him, I have more questions for this fool," Severus respectfully said to his long time friend. He had emphasized the word 'master' to remind the other man of the place he had towards him, and so towards Harry, too.

Draco passed him with a last deadly glare before rushing to the other room.

"Now tell me. What. Did. you. Do. To. Him?" Severus asked through gritted teeth.

"Nothing! I swear!" David managed to say, his whole body shaking with terror.

"Don't lie to me you fucking shit! I know what happens to the people you shelter here! Tell 

me!" Severus roared.

"I, I, I…I drugged him and changed his clothes, but that's all! Believe me!"

"Which drug?"

"Désir"

"Shit… Do you know into what trouble you have put yourself into? You have drugged and tried to corrupt Harry Potter-Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy, the one to whom you owe your place. I can't even imagine what he is going to do with you…" Severus sneered.

"But I didn't know who he was! He just said his name was Harry, that's all!"

"Well, it's not enough."

"I've always worked like that and he had never had anything against it! I know Harry is a Malfoy, but…"

"That's the right word, you fool. Harry is a MALFOY. Not some distant member of the family but his SON. Even if it's by adoption. The honour has been tainted. I don't think you'll live long enough to see tomorrow coming…"

At those words, David's eyes widened in horror and without thinking any longer he ran outside as if the house was on fire.

"Fool! Do you really think you'll manage to escape your fate?" Severus said in a low voice. He then headed for the room where Harry and Draco were.

******

When Draco opened the door, he hadn't expected what he saw.

Harry was lying on his back on a couch and was….stroking his inner thigh, his legs bent open in a very suggestive way. Moreover, the way he was clothed… oh, Sweet Merlin! Draco gulped with difficulty, his mouth suddenly as dry as the Sahara. Harry's eyes were closed and he was moaning softly.

To his horror, Draco felt himself harden almost instantly.

"Ha…Harry?" he managed to croak.

Harry slowly opened his eyes and turned his head towards him. Once again Draco was speechless. His eyes were shining with animal lust, but it was clouded by what looked like despair. 

"Dra…Draco?" Harry softly whispered. The sweet voice did nothing to calm Draco's hard on; quite the contrary in fact.

Remembering how to walk, he went to Harry's side and knelt in front of him.

"Hey, Sweetie, what's wrong?" he was about to touch him when Harry stopped him. "No! Don't touch me!" he shouted, his cheeks flushed with shame. He needed to be touched so much. Oh, lord! This time, he couldn't stop his moan. All that skin, so close, so close… "Draco… need you, need you… help me…" and before

he could stop himself, he sat up, leaned against his half brother, and kissed him lightly.

Draco, who had frozen when Harry had told him not to touch him, was now utterly still. He couldn't believe what was happening. Harry was kissing him. And he liked it. Without even noticing it, he kissed back and let his tongue stroke Harry's slightly opened lips. The kiss deepened, Draco embracing Harry fiercely and running one hand up and down his back while the other was stuck on his neck. His moans and Harry's were the only sounds that could be 

heard. When the need for air became impossible to deny, they detached their lips from one another, but not for long. Draco started nibbling Harry's lower lip before diving to his throat, sucking, licking and biting all the skin he met. Harry opened his legs to grant him more access, his arms wrapped around his neck and his head arching back to give him more skin to touch. 

Draco's hand was roaming on Harry's body; he opened his shirt, stroked the smooth chest, pinching the nipples lightly. His hand went lower, landing on his thigh, his thumb caressing the inside in little circles, making Harry whimper more loudly. But he didn't dare reach the part he wanted to touch the most; even under the power of lust, he managed not to exceed some limits. 

When Severus came in, Draco was almost lying on top of Harry and they were again locked in a feverish kiss.

*~*~*~*~* 

Severus was really worried about what he was going to discover in the room he was heading for. The drug 'Désir' was a potion he had created to 'help' the rebellious elements of the brothels the Malfoys owned. It worked like an aphrodisiac and made all the inhibitions disappear. The drugged subject felt the need to be touched, caressed and led to climax by anyone who was close enough to help him or her. And Draco… well, Severus still remembered the look he had thrown to Harry before discovering they were related; it was one of great appreciation. And even if it had disappeared later, he was afraid it would show up again, especially right at that moment.

So when he entered the room and saw Draco and Harry wrapped together in a heated kiss, the only word he could speak was a roaring, "DRACO!!"

At his voice, the object of his attention jerked away abruptly, while the other one was still clinging to him hiding his face in the other's chest.

Severus walked towards the couple, pulled Harry away from Draco and took him in his own arms. Harry, face still flushed, was now linking his arms around Severus' neck. Draco was looking at the floor, his face flushed, too, by the unfulfilled desire and by the shame of having crossed a forbidden line.

"Draco, apparate home and tell your father we've found Harry. Tell him also that although he was not touched, he was drugged and that I'll help him get it out of his system. So do not disturb us. I'll apparate to Harry's rooms. Understood?" Severus asked neutrally.

"Yes," The other man answered before disapparating.

"Harry, hold me tight, love, we're going to disapparate."

Harry's reply was to tighten his grip.

They landed in front of Harry's fireplace. Harry was shaking so hard Severus had to hold him tightly to prevent him from falling.

The shaking slowly stopped but was soon followed by sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to, but he was so close, so close… I needed, I needed… you must think I'm disgusting now, so horrible…" Harry whispered.

Severus placed his flexed fingers under Harry's chin and raised his head to look directly into his jade green eyes. "Listen to me, love and listen carefully, you have nothing to be sorry about and you are absolutely not disgusting. It wasn't your fault, it was the drug. It makes you feel things against your will. I know that because I made it."

They were both silent for a moment before Severus continued. "I'm going to help you get rid 

of it from your system, but to do that we'll have to… well, I think you know. Are you okay with that?" he asked gently and oh, so kindly.

Harry's response was to kiss him shyly, but he soon grew bolder and his tongue begged to make a new acquaintance with his lover's. Severus complied happily and they were soon completely naked and lying on the bed. Before going further, Severus cast locking and silencing charms on the door and the room.

When Severus discovered the tattoo, he stopped completely. He began stroking the beautiful phoenix that stood proudly on that admirable chest. Even if it had been made by someone who wanted to use Harry, Severus couldn't deny the fact that it suited his young lover perfectly. His finger followed the edge of the shape, creating new and desperate moans from Harry. He was only touching it lightly but the over-sensitive skin multiplied the effect tenfold. 

He was kissing him everywhere, from his sweet face to his inner thigh. Severus was lying between his lover's legs, nibbling, sucking, licking, chewing and leaving love bites everywhere he wanted to. But what he loved most was kissing that hot and sensual mouth of his; to stroke every part of it slowly. The moans he brought forth were intoxicating and he was doing all he could to hear them again and again. 

Harry wanted Severus inside him and kept whispering in his ear, "Take me, please, make me yours," again and again, making Severus crazy with lust. Harry even took his lover's cock in hands and brought it to his entrance, creating deep groans from Severus. The latter had to use all his willpower not to just dive into the sweet tightness that was offered to him, and kept to his own ministrations.

When he felt that Harry was on the verge of climax, he entwined their fingers together and  

began rubbing his heavy cock against Harry's, slowly. Harry let a hoarse cry escape his throat and arched on the bed, making closer contact and so creating even more friction. Severus kept his slow pace, pushing Harry deeper and deeper in the mattress, plunging his tongue in the heat of that adored mouth, mimicking what he really wanted to do but forbade himself to. Finally, the speed he had set increased and they were soon both crying with ecstasy.

Panting heavily, Sev stayed still for a moment before lying on his side, keeping Harry in his arms.

"Sleep now my love. Tomorrow will be a rough day," he whispered softly. Harry fell asleep and Severus stayed awake, rocking him back and forth in a loving gesture.

But later that night…

Soft skin for him to lick and nibble, moans filling the air. A warm body under his, willing to be taken. Now, he was plunging into the sweet body, with love, passion and desperation. When he finally reached his climax at the same time as his lover, he screamed the beloved 

name, 'Harry' and received, as an echo, his own, "Draco!"

Sweating, Draco woke up with a start. 


	8. Addiction, part 1

A BIIIIIIIIIIIG Thank you to my beta Becca (You are wonderful!) and of course to Mimo-chan and Melian who didn't stop poking me to write faster!

"……" talking

_/ italics_/  thoughts

*****

Chapter 8: Addiction (part 1)

Harry woke up feeling dizzy and feverish. As he was slowly regaining consciousness his mind registered two things. First, he was in a bed, which was odd because he didn't remember going to bed the night before. Second, he wasn't alone in the said bed, judging by the strong thin arm that was embracing him from behind.

Harry opened his eyes and discovered that he was in his room and by the light he could see filtering through the closed curtains, it was around midday. 

He was still not panicked by the fact that there was someone else sharing his bed, naked.  That someone was a man, apparently, as no woman could have *that* particular part pressed against him tightly.  Considering this, Harry lowered his eyes and studied the arm that was resting on his waist.  

Pale skin with dark hair… he knew that arm. He caressed it lightly before entwining their fingers together. As a response, the arm tightened its grip and Harry suddenly knew who the mysterious man was: Severus.

To be sure, he turned around and came face to face with him. It was the first time Harry had seen him asleep. His face looked peaceful. Was it due to sleep, or the fact that Harry was lying in his arms, the younger wizard wondered. He snuggled closer and sighed happily.

The dizziness was almost gone, but not the fever. His memory was confused, but if it had made him land next to a naked Sev, there was nothing to complain about. He ran his fingertips over his lover's face: the strong jaw, the Roman nose, the smooth lips… The latter suddenly parted and sucked lightly on the inquisitive fingers. Harry squeaked and the neutral mouth turned into a smirk. The obsidian orbs opened and gazed at him.

"Good morning," Harry murmured.

"Good morning to you, too," his lover replied. Severus' smirk vanished and was replaced by a concerned look. "Are you feeling ok?" he asked.

"Completely ok, Sev. Well, except for the fever, but it's no big deal."

Suddenly, Severus caught the hand that was gently caressing him and looked at Harry, furious.

"What the hell did you think you were doing yesterday?! Going to Diagon Alley alone, and worst of all, entering Knockturn Alley! Have you forgotten what I've told you about that place?" he roared.

Harry's eyes turned as cold as ice. He sat up, pushing away from the embrace and shouted,     "No, I haven't! But I don't see why I wouldn't be allowed to go to a place well known by my whole family. I didn't want to be left out," he finished sarcastically.

"You could have been hurt! Killed! You were almost kidnapped, bloody hell!"

Harry was about to reply when he felt something burn inside of him. He let out a gasp of pain and lay back on his bed, his eyes shut.

Severus didn't lose one second; he covered his young master with his blanket and asked him where it hurt, even if he were pretty sure he knew the answer already.

"My chest," Harry whispered. He continued, "Why does it hurt like this?"

"It's because of the drug," Severus replied.

"What drug?" Harry asked, confused. Then the events of the day before slowly came back to him. "I was sure it was just tea; we drank from the same pot!" he exclaimed.

"The man you met covered your cup with the drug. Do you… Do you remember what happened after you drank it?" the older man asked ill-at-ease.

"Well, no, not exactly. I only remember I was very hot and then, nothing."

Severus sighed heavily. He knew that what he was going to say would not be taken well.

"The drug you were given came from a potion I created for your father. It's called "Désir" and is used to tame the new recruits of the 'entertainment houses' the Malfoys own."

Harry's expression was blank. Severus continued. "The potion acts like an aphrodisiac. When you drink it, you suddenly feel the need to touch and to be touched by all persons you see. At the same time, your will is annihilated, as well as your morals. You will do anything and let others do anything to you. The intense desire disappears once you've reached climax, but it doesn't mean that the potion has worn off."

"Well, as I'm able to think now, it means that I 'reached climax,' doesn't it? Who…?" Harry asked, his voice shaking a little.

"Me," Severus answered curtly, eyes downcast. He couldn't look his young lover in the eye. "I would never have let anyone touch you against your will. I know my actions were as bad as the bastard who gave you the drug, but at least… At least I know you are not repulsed by me, I know that you love me. Don't you?" While saying that, Severus was berating himself for being so pathetic, but he couldn't help it.

Harry said nothing. The silence lasted for a minute or two, during which, Severus was sure his heart was going to break. Finally, the young man whispered, "I do love you. My heart tells me this; but right now, you, Dad and Draco… you all repulse me. I can't understand… How can you? How can you still look at yourself in the mirror in the morning? Don't you feel shame? Guilt?" He turned his back to the potions master. "Just leave me alone." 

"Well, I'll leave you now, but only because I need to go and make the antidote. Please Harry, I'm not asking for forgiveness, but take care of yourself. The following hours are going to be difficult, so don't hesitate to call for a maid or a house elf or… even me. I'll be there for you. Please, remember that." With those last words, Severus left the room, defeated, but also determined to create the potion as quickly as possible.

He leant against the closed door to regain his composure, then took off. As he was rapidly heading to his potions lab, he came face to face with his master, Lucius. He did not look happy. In fact he seemed ready to kill. Severus stopped dead in his tracks. They locked eyes, Lucius' icy and deadly, and Severus' impassive. Eventually, Severus was the first to look away, and lowered his eyes to the floor.

"So," his master said in a silky voice, "Draco told me. Of course, the worthless little piece of shit that dared to touch my son died. Very painfully. And slowly. But not before telling me what he had done to him."

Severus said nothing.

"Désir?" Another pause. "And… You took care of Harry yourself? You helped him get rid of it?"

More silence.

"It was you."

"…"

"The one who gave him the hickey. The one he didn't want me to know about. The one he… LOVES!" Lucius said through greeted teeth. "How did this happen? Did you drug him? Force him? I swear if you've done anything to harm him, you are dead. Oh, you won't die like the other one. No, it will be more painful and you'll lose your soul!" he shouted. "Look at me when I speak to you!"

Severus quickly looked into his master's eyes again. He had never seen him like that. His eyes glowed with something like a mix between madness and pure fury. The potions master could feel magic crackling in the air; deadly, threatening magic directed towards him. But right now, he didn't care; he was furious too. His own look darkened, and he barely restrained himself from hexing Lucius on the spot.

"I would never do that to him!" he hissed. "Even if you can't or won't believe it, I LOVE him like I have never done before! It was something I couldn't control. It just overwhelmed me. He is everything to me. Before, I would have died protecting him because it was my duty. Now, I would die protecting him because I wouldn't be able to LIVE without him. I know you think it's wrong; I thought so myself, but then it feels so right! Like we belong together! I know I won't be able to do anything against you if you decide to break us apart, but I'll be damned if I don't die trying!"

His last words echoed in the heavy silence surrounding them in the corridor. Neither of them said a word for a few minutes. It was a contest of murderous glaring. If looks could have killed, they would have been both reduced to ashes by now. Then, "How is he?" Lucius asked in a controlled voice.

"He is not feeling well, as would be expected. He has a light fever for the moment, but, as you know, it will worsen quickly. And… if you were going to see him, I think it would be wiser for you to delay the visit. For the moment, he is, and I quote, 'repulsed' by you, Draco and me. He verbally kicked me out of his room. I was on my way to the lab to make the antidote."

Lucius' face was inscrutable, but Severus saw the hurt look that had flashed in his eyes when he heard that his beloved son was disgusted by him. With no other words, he simply turned on his heel and went back to where he came from.

~*~*~*~*

Since his dream, Draco hadn't been able to go back to sleep. He was obsessed and distraught. The dream kept playing again and again in his mind, each time both wonderful and horrible. "I'm a monster. We're brothers!"

**"Well, technically, you aren't really,"** a little voice whispered.

"Yes we are! We have the same father!"

**"But not the same genes.**** Not the same blood**."

"Yes we do! Even if father was using a potion by the time he was with Harry's mother, and so was different from what he normally is, deep down he was and is the same! Oh Merlin, Harry! How am I ever going to look at you now without having the impression of tainting you with my sinful mind?"

_/ He was so sweet, with his golden skin so smooth… his lips so red and full. They were begging to be ravished! And his eyes, oh gods, his eyes… never have jewels had their brightness! They were hypnotizing me. I want him. Oh, kill me now! I LOVE him in a way no brother should!/ _Tears were rolling freely down his cheeks as he was pulling on his hair like the madman he felt himself to be. He sat heavily on his bed, his face in his hands, moaning and sobbing continuously. Then he stood up suddenly and faced the mirror placed above his fireplace. "You are a MALFOY for fuck's sake! And Malfoys do not linger on pathetic things like that! He is your little brother and nothing more! It was just a dream! Just a bloody dream! It meant nothing at all!" As he was saying that, he dried his face and showed more and more determination about what he was saying.

Finally under control, he went to his bathroom to tidy himself up, then went to the dining room to take his breakfast. There, to his surprise, he met Sirius.  

Between him and Draco things were… well not very warm. They weren't after each other's blood, mind you! It was just that they were not very close. After all, Draco met him only after meeting Harry, and Sirius was rarely seen at the Manor. He came very rarely and only to see his godson. So far, they had just shared small talk: remarks on the weather or the latest Quidditch match. Seeing the Animagus sitting in the dining room with Narcissa and eating breakfast peacefully was indeed quite a shock.

Draco recovered quickly. He went to his mother, kissed her cheek and then greeted Sirius as warmly as he could before sitting down himself. After digging in to his scrambled eggs, he asked, "I'm sorry if I'm being rude but… what are you doing here?"

Sirius put his cup of coffee down before answering with a glare. "I was in the search squad, too, yesterday. I stayed to know how things were going to be. I'm worried about him too, you know."

"Sorry," Draco murmured sheepishly. This attitude made Sirius' eyebrow rise; it wasn't usual to see a Malfoy in that position. Before he could comment on it, Lucius stormed in. He stopped at the head of the table and said in a cold and controlled voice, "Harry is not feeling very well, so he will stay in his rooms for a while. None of you is allowed to see him. Even you Siri," he added before the Animagus could speak a word. "Is that perfectly clear to all of you?" Draco and Sirius nodded; Narcissa just calmly took a bite of her toast.

Then, as rapidly as he had come, Malfoy senior went out of the room.

"Well, that was some speech," Sirius said sarcastically. "I wonder if it's because of what happened yesterday, or if he has discovered his baby boy's little secret..?" he muttered. To the others he said, "I wonder if love is a blessing or a curse for the world?"

"Excuse me?" Draco asked, confused.

"Suddenly, I'm in the mood for deep reflection! No, I mean, usually people say that love is a blessing, don't they?"

"Well, yes."

"But in fact, it's difficult to say…"

At that point, Narcissa stood up and left the room without a word. Both men were startled by it, but then they shrugged. It wouldn't be the first time she had acted like that. Draco thought for a moment and said, rather angrily, "Just before mother's departure, you said that love could be a curse or a blessing. But I don't see things like that. I think that love is a weakness, nothing useful." Inwardly, he was trying to convince himself with it. 

Sirius looked at him curiously, a little astonished by his outburst. He then replied, "I can understand your point of view. But I don't agree with you. Let me explain my thoughts about the duality of love. Look at your family history; the Malfoy who built the family wealth did it because of love. That can be seen as a blessing, but he used Dark Arts and other not so great methods to do so. Then, he extended his dark connections because his wife, the woman he had fought for, was cheating on him. 

"After that, no Malfoy heir was allowed to marry for love. Each had an arranged marriage, like you will. But then, with the case of your father… he found true love. Something so beautiful it made him change some rules. Oh, don't get me wrong, it wouldn't have been the first time a Malfoy took a mistress, but Lily was not that. She was his wife. She is still his wife. Now, and surely until his death, he'll always see himself as a widower. But the really, truly amazing thing, is the fact that Lily was a Muggle-born. 

"I have to make myself clear. For generations, Malfoys were raised to believe that Muggle-borns, 'Mudbloods', were lower beings. Almost seen as nothing. It's surprising that you, Draco, are not like that. I suppose that unconsciously, Lucius left out all the nasty remarks he was supposed to make about them when he was with you. You have to understand that Luc's father, your grandfather, raised him like that. I know he sent him into the Muggle world, but it was because he was a true believer of the motto, 'to defeat your enemy, know him better.' That was his mistake. It allowed Luc to open his eyes. To make his own opinion on the matter.

"And then, love struck him. Hard. And that was a blessing. For them both. Then they gave birth to Harry. And that was another blessing of love. 

"But..." Sirius' voice wavered, "She died… Because of him. Because she was his heart. I know he will never regret meeting her, even if her loss will always make him suffer. That's the greatness of love. Even when you suffer, it helps to lessen the pain. It illuminates your life until the time of your passing away.

"So, if you ever come across that feeling, a Love so great it consumes you, don't turn away because you think it's a weakness. It would be the greatest mistake of your life."

They were both silent for a long moment after that. 

Eventually, Sirius added, laughing, " Whew! I astonished myself with that little speech! Remus would have been proud of me." Then more seriously, "I meant it. Think about it before making any decisions, okay?"

Draco merely nodded before going out of the room, his mind in turmoil.

*~*~*~*

_/ Ha! Love is the greatest thing in the world! What kind of girlish bullshit is that? Was he high or something? 'If you come across that feeling, don't turn away,' indeed!/  _Draco was thinking without looking where he was going._ /What would he say if he knew at whom those feelings were directed? Huh?/_ He took his head in his hands like a madman, destroying his carefully done hairdo.

_/ No! It's NOT love! It's just some perverted fantasy that's going to fade away very quickly! I absolutely don't want to run my hand through his soft, unruly hair, to feel its silkiness, to stroke his golden skin, to taste it, to kiss him passionately until he passes out from lust and love and desire… NO! Stop that right now, you sick bastard!/_ Draco was completely losing it. His internal battle with himself was becoming impossible to handle. 

He stopped abruptly in an attempt to calm himself. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he realised that his feet had led him to Harry's door.

"Oh Merlin!" he said under his breath. He was going to make a hasty retreat when he heard a moan of pain coming from inside. Then another. Worried, he hesitated to enter, but a third moan put him into action. Slowly, carefully, as if dealing with hot steel, he softly knocked on the door and turned the handle.

*~*~*~*

A/N: Hi! *hides quickly behind a rock* Hum, sorry for the time I took to write this. I hope it was worth the wait. From now on, I won't make promise on when I'm going to update as the question is a very difficult one. Now I have little time and energy because of my studies but I'm doing my best and I swear I'm gonna finish WHPBHM. It'll just take some time. Hope you'll not be too mad at me…

A/N2: HAPPY NEW YEAR!! My good resolution: finishing my fic before 2005 (well, one can always hope…)

A/N3: I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than the others but I really have more and more difficulties to come up with ideas and my writing skills are not as good as I want them to be.

A/N4: for those who wanted a threesome, and you were quite a lot, I'm sorry to disappoint you but it definitely won't be one. Not that I'm against! No, no, when it's well written I think it's brilliant, but here, I just don't think it fits. Because, really, Harry sees Draco as a brother and nothing else.

A/N5: just to say that I repost all the previous chapters without the atrocious grammar and weird spellings (again, THANK YOU Becca!)

A/N6: A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL  OF YOU WHO REVIEWED AND SENT ME FEEDBACKS! YOU ARE THE BEST!

Anna may

Furies

HPIceAngel

Lee

Trisha Balmer: I'm sorryyyy! Well, it's not really a bad Draco but, a rather tormented one; is it okay though?

Ambrosia-ku-Ran

Chibikit

Lolita

Cassa- Andra

Quickjewel

Lady Shadow

Trunks-  01

Jane

Lolin : are you dead ? please tell me you are not! Here is the new chapter!

Dedicated fan: it took a looooooooooong time but yes! They are up now! For how long I don't know though…


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